


Teach Me Something I Don't Know

by KurtbastianIsForever



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, First Time, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I'm gonna make you cry, Infidelity, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Physical Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 24,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7224733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtbastianIsForever/pseuds/KurtbastianIsForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't Blaine that Sebastian craved. No, it was Kurt he craved. He really just wants to get in bed with the boy is all. So why is he starting to feel this way? What.....what is he feeling?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soon, You'll Be Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading a lot of Kurtbastian fics and I can't help but write one now. And since my other story will take a while for me to update, I figured I could make it up to you guys by providing you with something else to stay on top of. I hope you guys like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading a lot of Kurtbastian fics and so I decided to make one myself. I love Sebastian's character so much and I really hope I managed to write his character correctly. Enjoy!

Sebastian sits inside the Lima Bean quietly sipping his coffee. Practice today was especially tiring and he needed enough energy to hit Scandals later on. 

He hums as he remembers one specific guy he had a make-out session with the last time he went. The dude was a pretty good kisser and mentioned that he was almost a regular at the bar, so maybe he would get lucky and run into him again. In fact, the guy had given Sebastian his number. But he always deleted the numbers he was given. The only contacts he had were his parents, a couple of friends, and Blaine. 

Blaine Anderson. Kurt Hummel's to-good-to-be-true boyfriend.

He chuckled at the thought of Kurt's expression when he was first aware of a douche flirting with his oblivious boyfriend. Truth be told, their first encounter had been in fact based on a lie. 

He wasn't interested in the stupid, damper Blaine.

No, he was interested in sassy, snappy, and sexy Kurt. 

It was true that the Warblers couldn't shut up about their old soloist, but they also couldn't shut up about their once in a lifetime countertenor. The Warblers had shown pictures of both when Sebastian enrolled in the school and was enlisted in the show choir of Dalton.

When he saw the picture of Blaine, he thought the guy was 'okay' looking but hated the way the guy's hair was practically glued to his head. Guys that used as much hair-gel as this dude did was just fucking stupid and unattractive in Sebastian's eyes.

Oh....but when he saw the picture of Kurt Hummel, all he could think was:

_Hot damn!!!!_

The picture in front of him contained the most beautiful and sexy looking boy he had ever laid eyes on.

The way his hair was styled to come up in front and sweep over the rest of his auburn hair was perfect. His slightly pink cheeks that matched his light pink lips that were perfectly plump and completely kissable. The blue eyes that harbored a sky Sebastian wanted to gaze at forever. Sebastian would go far enough to say that he looked like a angel that was sent from sex heaven.

And when he heard the two were dating, his hopes dashed right out the window. Of course he was fucking taken. 

But when Blaine himself came back to Dalton for a little visit, his hopes flew right back in and he knew he had to find a way to meet Kurt through Blaine. So when Kurt came up from behind Blaine in the coffee shop to inspect who he was talking to, Sebastian just about had a field day.

* * *

_Yeah..I know you have a damn boyfriend Gelbacca. So introduce us so I 'get a clue'._

Talking with Blaine was extremely boring and if he didn't see himself some Kurt Hummel soon, he was going to bolt and come up with another plan. Luckily, his eyes caught the sexy creature come walking up from the line to Blaine, a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

"Who's amazing?" He spoke like he was expecting Blaine to say it was him.

_Hey sexy. His voice is high-pitched.....I swear he would sound amazing in bed._

"You!" Blaine yelped. Sebastian mentally chuckled at Blaine's nervousness. 

Sebastian eyed Kurt carefully as he noticed Kurt doing the exact same thing.

"Kurt, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Kurt....my boyfriend." Kurt turned warily to Sebastian and smiled quite bitterly while sticking out his hand.

"Nice to meet you Kurt." Sebastian said smoothly while taking the boy's very soft hand. Kurt in turn widened his bitter smile.

"Pleasure." So much bitterness was in that one word that it made Kurt's voice knock down into a even sexier tone that turn on the hell out of Sebastian.

_How did Gelbacca end up with someone like you my sex angel?_

Sebastian smiled as the boy sat down next to Blaine and wrapped his hand possessively around Blaine's arm, saying how Blaine was even better in the flesh than whatever the Warblers had said about him. It was pretty obvious Kurt was not happy with Sebastian's presence.

_No, you're the one who's even better in the flesh. I bet your even better in the bedroom._

While Kurt was talking about him and Blaine doing a play and how they did some kind of skin routine over the phone, Sebastian stared and tried to think of a way to at least see Kurt one more time. That's when an idea came to him.

* * *

Even though Kurt had spent his time at the bar talking to some bearly guy and later trying to dance with Blaine, Sebastian was just pleased to be able to get a great view of all that was Kurt Hummel.

A slender back that Sebastian wanted to rub his hand over, Kurt's wonderfully round ass that Sebastian wanted to do nasty things to, long legs that were balanced between the muscles and fat just right, and those clothes. Kurt's clothes fit every curve like it was skin itself.

And how could Sebastian forget Kurt's snark and sassy personality. The way he physically showed how much he hated Sebastian when he was dancing around Blaine who was drunk beyond belief. It was hot, incredibly hot.

Reminiscing about his encounters with Kurt was starting to get Sebastian really horny. He was probably going to need to go back home soon.

He sipped his coffee slowly, trying to calm himself down. He put his cup back on the table and looked over at the line.

_Speak of the sex angel......_

Of course Kurt was standing at the end of the line, looking down at his phone with an aggravated look on his face. And even though the boy was obviously distressed, Sebastian couldn't help but check him out yet again. 

He still had that perfect hair, perfect facial features, perfect ass, and perfect legs. He was still wearing skin-tight jeans that really made that perfect ass pop.

The best thing was the fact that Kurt was alone and there was no Blaine in sight. He could go up there and start teasing the boy and there would be no Gelbacca to interrupt his fun. But there was no way he was going to reveal the real prize he was after, it was too much fun to see Kurt get pissed off and possessive. It was also a real turn-on.

He smirked as he kept his eyes on the two round cheeks that were practically begging to be slapped by his own hands. If they weren't in such a public place, Sebastian would pass by Kurt's behind if it meant he could have a chance to graze his hands over it.

_Okay, I might REALLY need to go home now._

He sat up straighter to feel more comfortable in his seat. While he wanted to go home and solve his little problem, he also wanted to stay and make his little problem turn into a big problem. 

He thought for a moment before purposely coughing into his hands, and got the result he wanted. 

Kurt was apparently very concerned about who was coughing as he looked around the shop to pinpoint where it was coming from.

Then his eyes landed on Sebastian and he swore he, especially with the look on Kurt's face, was about to be killed. Kurt was NOT thrilled to see him there.

Ignoring Kurt's glare, Sebastian waved him over with a friendly smirk spreading onto his face.

_This is going to be fun._

Kurt rolled his eyes and slowly made his way to where Sebastian was sitting, never letting his scowl fade the whole time.

"What do you want?" Kurt hissed. Sebastian chuckled at Kurt's hatred, surely Kurt would soon be addressing him sweetly once Blaine was out of the picture.

"Well, someone's not friendly." Sebastian said tauntingly. He hoped that his tone would egg Kurt on.

"I'm not friendly to people I hate after all." Kurt smirked at the irritating guy in front of him. Did this guy really expect Kurt to be nice to him after he made it obvious that he wanted to get inside Blaine's pants?

Sebastian put a hand over his heart to act hurt and said, "You hate me? What did I do to deserve such a strong word?"

Kurt scowled harshly and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly irritated and tired. After all, he had looked really stressed while on his phone earlier. Probably a bad day. Kurt soon confirmed this.

"Look you Craigslist smelling meerkat, all I wanted to do is get my coffee, head home, and crawl into bed. My day has been bad enough, so I will not have you be the cherry on top to my disastrous evening and forget that you even exist. And that would mean for you to stay the hell away from me and my boyfriend or so help me I will mold your meerkat features with my fists. Good day to you." Kurt huffed and spun around on his heels, heading towards the door.

Sebastian had to admit that Kurt's little goodbye speech was pretty impressive. And while he hated the fact that their encounter was over, he really loved watching Kurt's ass stride away.

But just as Kurt was about to head out the door, a familiar face walked inside.

Gelbacca.

Sebastian silently groaned as he watched Gelbacca's face light up with joy at the sight of his boyfriend. 

Kurt smiled a smile so genuine that if it was directed at Sebastian, it would surely knock him off his feet.

And that's when he got rather brilliant idea.

_Just you wait my sex angel. You will be mine soon enough._


	2. I've Screwed Up

Kurt hated Sebastian Smythe. 

HATED HIM.

Ever since he saw that meerkat face, a sour feeling enveloped him down to his very soul. Watching him openly flirt with his boyfriend made his blood boil. He knew this feeling was jealousy at best, but he always found himself wondering if this was the first time he had ever felt pure hatred. 

He wasn't exactly sure if he was fond of fact that he could possibly be harboring such a negative feeling towards someone, after all, he had never hated anyone before.

He didn't hate Rachel who was annoying beyond belief, he didn't hate Puck after all the times the guy had thrown him in a dumpster, and he didn't even hate Karofsky after being forcefully kissed by him. He was actually kinda scared that he hated Sebastian, but after the trip to Scandals....no...DURING the trip to Scandals, when he was dancing with Blaine, Kurt had to take one look at the horse-toothed meerkat and he knew:

_Yep. I hate him._

And while he was sitting down with Blaine in the coffee shop with Sebastian practically drooling in his seat in the far corner, he completely accepted the fact that he hated someone with a passion. It didn't matter if this was only the third time he had gotten in contact with Sebastian, he just considered it the third time his hatred for the guy was confirmed. 

But while he blamed Sebastian for almost everything that had caused him and Blaine conflict, Kurt was still just a tad bit unhappy with how Blaine had handled Sebastian's flirting.

He knew Blaine was oblivious, especially after Kurt had been pinning for him ever since they met on that staircase and although he knew he had been obvious about his feelings for him, Blaine hadn't known until he confessed. But, honestly, Sebastian was WAY more obvious than Kurt had ever been, plus he had heard Blaine catch on and inform Sebastian that he had a boyfriend. So he knew for a fact that Blaine was aware that Sebastian wanted to get inside his pants, yet he had danced and exchanged phone numbers with the meerkat.

He absolutely did not want Blaine to think he was possessive to any degree, so he had allowed the switching of phone numbers. Besides, Blaine would never cheat on Kurt, and Kurt knew that. 

And while he wanted to hate himself for doubting Blaine, a small part of him was glad he felt protective as that proved to himself how much he loved Blaine. 

Sebastian also seemed like the kind of guy to pressure and he never wanted Blaine to be put into any danger or stress because of another boys desire. SO his plan was to keep them as far away from each other as possible.

But that was proving difficult as Sebastian was now taking a seat beside Kurt.

"Hello Blaine." The meerkat grinned and turned to Kurt, "Hi Kurt."

Blaine just simply nodded towards Sebastian while Kurt tried not to sock the guy beside him in the face. This guy really did not know how to take a hint or back off, and it was really pissing Kurt off.

"So Blainers, I heard you played a really good Tony in West Side Story at your school. I bet it was a bunch of fun." Blaine smiled at the mention of the play.

"Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun. Kurt played a really good part too. He stole the stage." Blaine lovingly took Kurt's hand in his as the two exchanged intimate looks towards each other.

"Yeah? I bet he did steal the stage with that beautiful face of his." 

Kurt's eyes widened at Sebastian unexpected compliment. He looked over at Blaine, but was surprised to find Blaine still smiling and rubbing his thumb over Kurt's hand.

"You should have seen him. Too bad the play is over now, I would have gotten you a ticket so you could see Kurt's wonderful performance since you like his face so much." Blaine and Sebastian chuckled at the statement.

All the while, Kurt was so confused that it wasn't even funny. Both confused on why Sebastian had just flirted with him, and why Blaine had allowed it without batting an eye. 

Sure, there was a chance that Blaine could actually be angry but was hiding, but Kurt knew how Blaine acted was something was secretly getting on his nerves. 

And he knew down to his core that Blaine hadn't cared that Sebastian flirted with his boyfriend. And while his brain was telling him that this wasn't right, that Blaine should be getting pissed like Kurt had, his heart told him that it was no big deal and to just shake it off.

"So, how about we have another visit to Scandals boys? We'll have a lot of fun again." Sebastian cocked an eyebrow towards Blaine, who was nodding.

Kurt mentally groaned.

The last time he had gone to Scandals, it was anything but fun.

His boyfriend had danced with another guy all night, he was stuck having a nice but awkward chat with Karofsky, and he had almost been raped in the back seat of his car by his drunk boyfriend. Plus it had pro-longed when he was going to make love with Blaine.

He never wanted to enter that place again.

But of course Blaine did. 

"Come one Kurt, let's do it. It'll be fun!" Blaine tugged on Kurt's hand pleadingly while shooting his famous puppy dog eyes.

* * *

Sebastian was having so much fun acting on the plan he was putting into motion.

He was going to get Blaine and Kurt to go to Scandals again, get Kurt drunk as hell, and then give him a small smooch in front of Blaine so he would think Kurt had cheated on him and break up. It was genius!

His flirt towards Kurt was just for fun though, and he was surprised when Blaine hadn't cared. That said something.

Watching Blaine try to convince Kurt to go was pretty entertaining in itself, and he knew Kurt wouldn't be able to resist Blaine's protests.

So when Kurt finally said yes, Sebastian quietly celebrated. Step one had been completed.

After confirming their plans for later that night, Sebastian and Blaine started a conversation about Dalton while Kurt sat quietly aside, sipping his coffee and sending daggers toward Sebastian.

Noticing that even after ten minutes had passed, Kurt hadn't said a single word and was staring out the window, Sebastian was starting to feel guilty about not letting Kurt into the conversation. Just as he was about to ask Kurt a question about his time at Dalton, Kurt's phone made a noise and Kurt took it out to check.

After about a minute of reading something, presumably a text message, Kurt stood up and said, "Blaine, I need to get home. I'll see you tonight when you pick me up. Love you." 

Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek before gathering his stuff and heading out the door in a rush. Sebastian, of course, stared after his ass.

He turned around and realized Kurt had left him with Gelbacca despite the boys obvious distaste of having him around his precious boyfriend. And what had happened to the punch he was promised if he had ever gone Blaine again?

Gelbacca went back to talking about Dalton, but Sebastian pretended his phone went off again so he could leave as well.

* * *

Sebastian had gotten to Scandals earlier than planned as he realized that Kurt would never willingly drink alcohol.

Thankfully, he knew the bartender and payed him to give him any alcohol that was strong and disguise it as a Shirley Temple. 

He knew that he was probably crossing a line, but he really wanted to have at least one make-out session with Kurt Hummel before he completely would give up. Yet he would still bother Kurt whenever they ran into each other, he wouldn't be able to help himself.

He leaned against the corner and looked around the room, seeing if there was any one he could get a quickie from. There were attractive men all around, and a lot of them were eyeing Sebastian, which told him it would be easy to get someone into the bathroom. 

But even as he eye sexed people throughout the bar, he had no lust for any of them. In fact, even though he was acknowledging that almost every guy was attractive, he didn't feel the need to drag any of them into a private area. 

This was definitely weird to him, as he NEVER left Scandals without sucking off at least one guy. And he certainly never left without wanting to suck at least one guy off. 

Sebastian had a bad feeling seeping into the pit of his stomach, he did not like this. 

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, trying to come up with a reason for his not wanting to get off. Maybe he was just tired and for once not up to it.

He nodded and agreed with himself that that would suffice as an explanation for now. He was just tired was all.

After another 15 minutes, he smirked as Kurt and Gelbacca entered the bar and scanned the room for Sebastian. Once both their eyes fell upon him, Sebastian ushered them over to where he was sitting.

As they made their way over, Sebastian saw Kurt whisper something to Blaine and then roll his eyes at whatever Blaine responded with. He just assumed it was something about him and brushed it off. 

"Hey Sebastian. Did you get us drinks?" Blaine asked as he sat in a seat next to Sebastian while Kurt continued standing with his arms crossed all sassy like. Sebastian sent a wink Kurts way and mentally laughed as Kurt grimaced.

"Yeah I did. But this time your only having one beer Anderson." Sebastian passed the beer to Blaine and picked up Kurts' drink and handed it to him.

"I got you something with just a tiny bit of alcohol this time. It won't be enough to get you drunk." Kurt eyed the drink suspiciously but took a sip after Blaine nudged his shoulder. Sebastian wasn't planning on drinking tonight so he could be the designated driver. 

Kurt set his drink down after one sip and stated how he hated the taste of it and wouldn't be drinking any more of it. Sebastian cast his eyes down to the floor in a feeling of failure.

Well there went his plan. He scolded himself for not thinking of the fact that Kurt might not the taste of alcohol. How could he have been so stupid?

Blaine on the other hand had already downed his beer and headed to the dance floor to dance. At his leaving, Kurt sighed heavily and sat down into the chair next to Sebastian.

Sebastian looked over at him and attempted to start a conversation.

"So, have you guys at least bang yet?" Kurt choked on the air around him at Sebastian's question. He slowly turned to Sebastian and shot a murderous look at the boy sitting next to him.

"That's none of your business you meerkat." Kurt hissed. Sebastian simply smiled.

"I'm guessing that you haven't. You practically scream virgin." Sebastian teased. Kurt looked as though he was just about to jump on Sebastian and choke him to death.

"Would you shut up for once? The only reason I agreed to come here was because Blaine wanted to come with him. Whatever goes on in our relationship, and whether  I'm a virgin or not, is none of your damn business. Got it?" Kurt sneered.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and chuckled. Kurt sure was fiesty.

"Don't be so uptight, I was just joking. But....I could help you not be a virgin since I'm sure Blaine isn't going to give up the big V any time soon." Sebastian shrugged his shoulders as he waited to see what Kurt's reaction would be.

Kurt groaned and turned to Sebastian, "You're confusing. The first time we met you were flirting with my boyfriend, took him out to Scandals so you could flirt with him in front of me, and now you're flipping the tables and flirting with me. Who exactly are you trying to win?" 

Sebastian's eyes widened with surprise to Kurt's question. He hadn't expected him to confront him about what his goals were. 

He swallowed, noting that he didn't understand why he had suddenly become nervous, and said, "Well, if you want me to be honest, I would say you're the one I'm aiming for. I just have this undeniable feeling that you would be wild in bed. And I want to be the first person to see it, not Gelbacca over there. So what do you say? Want to leave him here and go back to my house?" 

Kurt's eyes flamed with anger, "And why do you think I would do something like cheat on Blaine? I'm not some normal slut that's going to spread my legs wide open for you just because Blaine isn't ready."

Annoyance sparked in Sebastian. Any guy, whether they had a boyfriend or not, would die to have Sebastian in their beds or taking their first time. He was starting to hate the fact that Kurt was rejecting him, so he did what Sebastian Smythe did well.

He didn't keep his mouth shut.

"Well now I see why Blaine almost raped you last time you guys were here. You won't give him what he wants because your-" Sebastian was cut off by a hand hitting his cheek hard and a loud slapping noise echoed throughout the bar. It caught everyone's attention, even Blaine's.

Sebastian brought his hand up to the cheek that got slapped and turned back towards Kurt. The small boy had tears welling up in his eyes and a hurt expression across his face.

"Don't ever come near me or Blaine again."

Kurt spun around, grabbed Blaine by the hand, and dragged him out of the bar crying.

Sebastian just stood there in silence with his hand still pressed to his cheek.

_I've screwed up big time haven't I?_


	3. Sebastian Smythe Apologizes?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I actually updated this. I'm really sorry to those of you who have been waiting for a new chapter of this. I promise it won't happen again. And sorry for this update being short, but I promise the next chapter will be a lot longer.

Sebastian sat inside his dorm room, rubbing his hand over his forehead. 

It's been a month since his last encounter with Kurt and Blaine, and although he wish he could, it seemed that he couldn't get Kurt's hurt expression out of his head. It bothered him how much he was stressing out over some little boy overreacting to a comment he made. In fact, he hasn't even had a one-night stand ever since that night.

He tried before in the bathroom of Scandals, but he was always being haunted by Kurt's last words and expression when he tried to get off. It honestly scared him.

A lot.

He's hurt his partners feelings before, made them cry and everything, but never had he been haunted by it. So, why Kurt? Why did he often find himself regretting the words he had spoken that night?

He groaned in frustration and flopped down on the bed. It had been a long day of doing school work and he was tired. Tired of everything. Tired of all the thinking and feeling.

He glanced at the watch on his arm and started putting his shoes on. It had been a while since he last went to the Lima Bean for a cup of coffee, and this was an excellent opportunity for it. He needed coffee in his system so he could try and get an essay done early.

* * *

He walked into the cafe and headed towards the line, rolling his eyes at how long it was. Of course everybody in Lima just had to go at the exact same time as him. It would probably be ten minutes before he could get up to the front.

He stood by silently, glancing around the room. His eyes fell upon one person.

Kurt. 

Sebastian's entire body fidgeted in nervousness. He just had to be there the one time Sebastian decided to try and have a relaxing evening. He was just grateful that Kurt didn't seem to notice him at all.

_Wait a sec....._

Sebastian looked over at Kurt again and took in what he was seeing.

Kurt was just sitting there, coffee cup in hand, staring straight ahead. His eyes and face showed no signs of life whatsoever, only blinking every minute or so. It was actually kind of scary the way he appeared, almost looking like he was dead inside. 

Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

He took a step forward as the line moved, never taking his eyes off the boy. He could just sense that something was very off about Kurt. 

Last time he saw him, even if he wasn't really smiling or frowning, he at least showed some kind of fiery in his eyes or in the lines on his face. But now......there was nothing. It creeped Sebastian out. 

Plus he was alone. None of his school friends were anywhere to be seen, and even Blaine wasn't with him. And Blaine was always with him, especially if he was at the Lima Bean getting coffee. 

He gulped and before he knew it, he was making his way to Kurt's table. Whatever had possessed him to go sit next to Kurt succeeded as he sat down in a chair across from him, making Kurt jump in the sudden intrusion. Kurt's entire face grew even darker as he realized exactly who had taken a seat at his table. His eyes looked even more dead than before, and that make Sebastian worry even more.

He drew in a breath as he tried to muster up the courage to say something.

"So, where's Blainers?"

Sebastian mentally smacked himself for bringing up Blaine of all things. And the dead eyes Kurt bore gave an indication that it hadn't done the damage he thought it would.

Kurt just sighed and said, "I'm surprised you don't know. We broke up."

Sebastian eyes widened in surprise. Blaine and Kurt broke up? When the hell did this happen?

"Wait, what? You two broke up! Why?" 

Kurt looked down at the table, looking tired and tuckered out. It was then that Sebastian was sure that Kurt had gotten this question asked a lot.

"Because we just weren't working out. It's fine. But...."

Sebastian slumped back into his seat and mentally smiled when he saw a slight fire lit in Kurt's eyes. Whatever he was about to say was going to be overcome by Kurt's personality.

"But, that doesn't mean you can finally screw him and throw him aside like I know you want to. Me and Blaine might have broken up, but I won't let you hurt him. I may not be as important to him as I want to be, but he's still as important to me as he's always been. So lay off." Kurt sneered.

Sebastian nodded slowly, surprised that he wasn't thinking of screwing Blaine at all. In fact, he was actually thinking about how happy he was to see Kurt having some sort of emotion on his face and eyes. For some odd reason, he was actually relieved as well. 

But now he was even more curious on how exactly Gelbacca and Kurt broke up. Surely there was more to it than a simple 'we just weren't working out'. And Sebastian had picked up on Kurt saying Blaine didn't find him important, and to that he was certain it couldn't be true. Sure he had spent all the time he knew Blaine trying to get them to break up, but he hated to admit that what those two had seemed special. At least, something Sebastian never could acquire.

And Kurt must of not remembered Sebastian's confession of actually wanting to screw Kurt and throw him aside, or he did and he completely erased that memory from his mind. Either way, Sebastian had to get that night off his mind too. It had been eating him up inside ever since Kurt slapped him and looked at him with tears in his eyes.

So Sebastian did what Sebastian Smythe doesn't do best.

He tried to apologize.

"Look, the last time we saw each other, I did some and said some....pretty awful things to you. And I know my intentions were, how should I say this, to get either of you into my bed for one night. But I know I never should have said anything about your and Blaine's....fight. It was terrible and I feel so bad about it. So, if you guys by any chance broke up because of me and my actions or words, I'm sorry."

Sebastian let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as his heart started beating a mile a minute. He was too nervous to look at Kurt's expression. He had never been like this before and he wondered why he was feeling like this now. Ever since he met Kurt, all these strange and weird feelings started bubbling beneath his skin. And for once in his life, he was scared.

"Well, I never expected you to apologize. And I'm so unbelievably stupid for saying this after what you did, but it wasn't your fault. And I don't blame you for us breaking up. Like I said, we just found that we weren't working out. And since you look like your about to explode, I guess I can accept your apology." Kurt's voice said as Sebastian continued to look at the table.

He looked up in surprise at Kurt's words. Kurt actually accepted his apology.

Kurt smiled weakly and looked down at his coffee cup, examining that it was empty. He looked up back at Sebastian and smiled again, but this time it had a hint of teasing in it.

"But you should also buy me another coffee. It would help me forgive you even more."


	4. Author's Note

I can't believe I'm going to do this to poor Kurt, but I'm about to make things a lot darker than they were originally going to be.

I was just watching Master Chef and a idea for this story just popped up in my mind. Now, usually I would keep it at that and let you find out what exactly I'm talking about, but I really don't want to upset someone who came into this fic just wanting to read a good fluffy story. So, before I release the next chapter, I wanted to make a warning.

So this fic is now going to have elements of emotional abuse, physical abuse, a really terrible Blaine that you'll hate down to your very core, and self-harm. So if that is not something you want to read, then you should probably stop reading this fic now. 

Thats all, but I just wanted to make sure that this is okay with you guys and that I'm not about to write something that is NOT going to be enjoyable to my readers. Please let me know if you're okay with this so I can release the next chapter. If not, then I'll just go back to writing what I was originally going to do.

Thank you for reading!


	5. The Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I went ahead and decided that since you guys insist, this fic is going to take a dark turn. So, hold onto your seats cause I'm about to make my baby Kurt go through some hard stuff. If you can't stand to see Kurt getting physically and emotionally hurt, then I suggest you turn back now.  
> Also, you guys are really going to fall in love with Sebastian while your hate for Blaine grows. I'm afraid at times he might be out of character, but Kurt is going to need his nice side a whole lot.  
> So, enjoy!

Hanging out with Sebastian was kind of weird at first, and Kurt was sure that Sebastian felt the same way.

Anyone would have guessed that Kurt would straight up ignore or belittle Sebastian after what he had said to him a month ago in Scandals. He was honestly disgusted that Sebastian would joke about anyone almost getting raped by their boyfriend, but he really just didn't care anymore. After his 'break-up' with Blaine, he felt empty inside and out. They didn't actually break up, they just had a really huge fight that might break them up. It wasn't like he owed Sebastian the truth or anything.

Apparently, Blaine had brought up that Kurt wasn't even considering having sex even though Blaine 'always tried to make it romantic'. Because having sex for the first time in not only their relationship, but in their whole lives, in the back of a car that was parked besides a gay bar while one of them was drunk and one of them was saying no was totally romantic. Blaine had pretty much scared him and pro-longed their first time for just a while himself. He loved Blaine, he really did, but he didn't like the fact that Blaine was starting to make him feel bad about it.

And then they ended up having this big fight that honestly made Kurt shudder and sink into in chair or bed he was sitting him. He still didn't really know how he should feel about what went down a few days ago.

* * *

_"All I'm saying is that you could at least consider it, if not for you, but for my sake. I've been ready for this for a while now and it's like you don't want to make that kind of connection with me." Blaine bellowed._

_Kurt shook his head and sat on his bed, twiddling his thumbs as he tried not to get angry. Of course he's considered it, but after what happened at Scandals, he just wasn't completely ready yet. And he didn't know why Blaine was so upset about it. It was like all of a sudden, sex was the only thing he was thinking about doing with Kurt. And this wasn't even the first time he had brought it up._

_"Look Blaine, I'm just not ready yet. If you can't understand that then I'm sorry. I want to know why you're so upset about it like this." Kurt stood up and walked up to Blaine, who was still fuming with rage._

_"Because you tease me all the dang time! Every time we're alone and we make out, and your hands go places, it makes me think you're ready and I get all turned on only to have to take a cold shower. I wouldn't be so damn mad if you'd just stop teasing me! Don't you care how I feel!?" Blaine threw up his hands and Kurt backed away. Blaine was kinda starting to scare him. But he wasn't about to back down after his boyfriend pretty much called him a cock tease._

_"Of course I care how you feel Blaine. But I am just not ready to take that step yet. Please understand." Kurt reached over to rub Blaine's elbow but wasn't able to as Blaine turned away and huffed annoyingly._

_"I don't understand Kurt. We have gone a week without doing so much as doing a little more than kissing. Heck, we've gone a whole 3 months without doing anything more than kissing each other's necks. I'm tired of feeling like having sex with me would ruin you or something! Please understand that!" Blaine turned back to Kurt as he said those words._

_At this point, Kurt was beyond mad too. Blaine might as well go to Sebastian to get himself off if this is how he reacted to not having sex after only 4 months of a relationship._

_"Well if you're so bent on having sex then why don't you go to Sebastian! I'm sure he'll do everything you want and more if you just open-"_

_Kurt stopped mid sentence as his head swung to the side forcefully, a loud smack echoing through his room._

_His cheek burned as though he had been struck by a hot pan._

_Blaine hit him._

_He stood there in shock as he tried to register what Blaine had done._

_Kurt brought his hand to his cheek as his eyes filled with tears. Fear and anger started to boil in his heart as he slowly turned his head, not daring to look at Blaine's face. He was scared to find out if the look in Blaine's eyes was one of guilt or one that would still be filled with anger._

_"I..I think you should go." Kurt's unsteady voice whispered in the silence._

_He could see Blaine's feet as he continued to look at the ground. And Blaine wasn't moving._

_"I said, I think you should go." Kurt said with more firmness to his voice._

_He heard Blaine sigh and leave the room, letting Kurt sit on his bed and try to think about what had just happened and what he was going to do about it._

* * *

He really didn't know what to do about Blaine hitting him or the fight in general. He was sure that Blaine didn't mean to do what he did, that the only reason he hadn't said sorry was because he was in shock at what he had done too. And surely if Kurt gave him a second chance then he would say sorry for everything and drop it. 

But he couldn't deny that it made him feel pathetic. Look at him, he felt so pathetic that he was actually allowing himself to chat with a boy who was definitely the start of all this in the first place. If he hadn't shown up, none of this would have ever happened. At least, he didn't think it would have.

Maybe it was because of how pathetic he felt or how nice Sebastian could actually be if you just sat down with the guy and talked, but he had just befriended Sebastian Smythe and forgave him.

But somewhere deep down, he could see just how sorry and guilty Sebastian felt about what he had said. He honestly looked like he was going to have a panic attack if Kurt didn't forgive him.

So there he was, in the Lima Bean, talking to a boy he thought he hated with a passion. He tried to act like he normally would, just a tiny bit nicer, and keep the talking going. He did his best to convince Sebastian that him and Blaine had a clean break-up and he wasn't bothered in the least. But he still refused to let Smythe crawl into Blaine's pants, cause despite everything he didn't want Blaine to get hurt.

After about 15 minutes of chatting, Sebastian left as he had curfew and needed to get back to the dorms.

They both said goodbye and Kurt watched as Sebastian walked out the door, not before promising that they should meet up again soon. Kurt just sat in his chair as he kept thinking about what he should do.

He had to talk to Blaine at some point and try to make things up with him and get an apology for getting hit across the face. And while he was kind of scared and he wasn't sure whether if he really wanted to talk to Blaine right this minute, he knew he had to do it soon or he would regret it. He was determined to make things right between them and he was certainly not going to have his first break-up based on the fact that he wasn't ready for sex. Besides, he wasn't ready to lose Blaine yet. He loved him.

Blaine had saved his life. When they met, Kurt was in a dark place. He was getting constantly bullied, his dad was sick, and none of his friends or teachers seemed to notice just how distressed he was. If he hadn't met Blaine when he did, he probably would have killed himself. Especially if Karofsky still found a way to steal his first kiss and threaten to kill him.

No. He wasn't going to give Blaine up for some stupid fight they had. Blaine was his first love, and he was going to make sure Blaine was his only love. They were going to New York together, they were going to apply to NYADA together, they were going to move in with each other, and they were going to be endgame. Kurt was not about to give all that up after everything they had been through together. This was just another obstacle they needed to overcome.

And no one needed to know this fight ever happened.

So he took out his phone and began to compose a text.

**To: Blaine**

**From: Kurt**

_We need to stop avoiding each other. I want to talk and try to fix this. Please come to my house at 8:00 tonight if you want to fix this too. I hope to see you then. I love you._

Kurt nodded as he hit send and put his phone back into his satchel. He stood up and draped the satchel over his shoulder as he made his way out of the Lima Bean and climbed into his car, ready to fix his relationship.

* * *

Kurt paced back and forth in his room as the time ticked on by. He kept glancing up to the clock in his room, not being able to calm himself down. Blaine hadn't even returned his text so he was pretty sure Blaine wasn't coming. And that broke his heart as that made him realize that Blaine was totally just going to give up on them just like that. It hurt to think that Blaine wouldn't even try to fix them.

He sighed very loudly as he flung himself onto his bed. He might as well just go to sleep since he had school tomorrow, and he was tired above all things.

he was about to drift off when a knock sounded on his door. He shot up off the bed and sucked in a deep breath. A bit of relief and fear poured into him when he heard Blaine's voice ask if it was okay to come in.

After Kurt allowed him entrance, Blaine shot through door and swung his arms around Kurt's chest as he gave him the biggest hug Kurt has ever gotten. He felt a tiny bit ashamed when he flinched at the motion of Blaine's arms.

"Oh Kurt I'm so sorry. I can't believe that I did that to you. I hate myself so much right now and I have no idea why you would want to fix us because I hit you of all things. How can you even look at me or speak to me, especially now that just giving you a hug makes you flinch. How will I ever get you to forgive me?" Blaine eased out of the hug and looked lovingly into Kurt's eyes.

The fear he had prior completely vanished as he looked into those hazel eyes he loved so much. Blaine was here and he was apologizing like there was no tomorrow.

He smiled sweetly and he could feel all the emptiness and worthlessness just completely vanish from him.

"You're already forgiven Blaine. There was no way in hell I was just going to let us end like that and give up. I love you too much. And, I did say some things that understandably set you off. So I'm sorry too. And I promise I'll be ready very soon as I do really want to take that step with you. Just promise me you won't hit me again. I hate that I had to flinch from you just now. I felt so pathetic and worthless when you did that. Please don't make me feel that way again." Kurt sat down on his bed and Blaine sat down next to him. He was so happy that they were about to go back to being their usual adorable lovey-dovey selves.

Kurt eyes watered as he looked into Blaine's eyes as he waited for Blaine to respond. Blaine was just smiling that smile that drove Kurt crazy that first day they met and the day they shared their first kiss. He knew they were going to last forever and that something as silly as the argument they had wouldn't tear them apart. They had a lot of long years ahead of them together, Kurt just knew it.

Blaine nodded, and Kurt swore he saw some weird look graze Blaine's eyes as they leaned in to kiss.

And he completely ignored the sense of dread that slightly filled his stomach as their lips met.

As they kissed, Kurt knew.

They were going to be okay.

Right?


	6. Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason this chapter is so short is because the next one is going to be really really long and a lot of shit is going to go down. I'm going to go ahead and warn you to prepare your feels and I'm 100% sure you'll cry for poor Kurt. My evil level is going to increase after this chapter so sorry.

Sebastian rested his head on his pillow. His encounter with Kurt was really strange at best. Despite everything, Kurt had forgiven him and been nothing but friendly.

Then again, he knew there was something really off about Kurt. Even as they say at the table and talked, Kurt's eyes lost any and all emotion inside of them. He said that him and Blaine had broken up and that it was nice and clean, but that surely wasn't the case. He had a good eye for when people were lying, as he did a lot of it himself, and Kurt definitely wasn't telling the whole truth.

Kurt had went out of his way to tell Sebastian that just because they weren't together, he wasn't allowed to go and break Blaine's heart by humping and dumping him. Which again he never attempted to do in the first place since Kurt was all he really cared about.

Sebastian shot straight up in alarm. No, he didn't care about Kurt. He just wanted to get in bed with him really badly. Sebastian wasn't one for caring about people unless they were family, and he wasn't about to start now. What did he care that Kurt had been off? It didn't matter at all. All that mattered right now was how in the hell he was going to get out of this mess.

He had apologized and the weight he had on his shoulders had lifted the moment Kurt forgave him, but befriending the guy wasn't part of his plan at all. Now Kurt expected to meet up again in a friendly manner. This wasn't good at all.

He groaned and pounded the bed with his fist in frustration. He had jumped out of one problem regarding Kurt right into another one. He could just ignore Kurt unless they saw each other by accident, but if he did that then Kurt would surely lay into him about forgetting their new found friendship. And while an angry Kurt definitely turned him on, he was already trending in waters that he didn't want to be in.

The gravity of what he had said to Kurt was really sinking in. Laying back on his bed, he thought about everything that had happened. He found that even though he apologized, he still felt terrible about what went down that night in Scandals. He was horrified at what he had become. He was now a person who thought it was okay to joke about some teenage boy almost getting raped by his boyfriend in the backseat of a car. He was an asshole, he knew that, but at that point he was just cruel.

And whether he liked it or not, he owed Kurt way more than an apology. It's just that he was surprised when the realization that if he wanted to make it up to Kurt he had to be his friend, it didn't really seem all that bad.

He's had a couple friends before back in Paris. They certainly weren't close friends, but he never hated having them. Besides, it was kinda lonely what with everyone at Dalton hating him. He could use one friend. And if he was friends with Kurt, then he would be on good terms with someone who was just as snarky and handsome as he was. Plus he would get to be near that amazing ass all the time, so there was that.

He also wanted to know what exactly was going on with Kurt and Blaine. There was no way they broke up, at least not for good. They probably just had some sort of argument and took some time to cool off. Though he secretly wished they actually were broken up for good so he could have at least a tiny sliver of a chance to get Kurt in his bed for at least one night.

Gelbacca was really becoming a nuisance now. Kurt was stupidly faithful so it seemed that as long as Blaine was in the picture, him and Kurt would never go near a bed together. But there was also something a little bit off about Blaine. Gelbacca did in fact almost rape his own boyfriend who was obviously a virgin. And if that was how he acted when he was drunk, then Sebastian wondered if he was acted like that behind closed doors. Did he ever pressure Kurt into sex?

And before you get any ideas, Sebastian was actually against pressured sex. Although he wanted to do things with Kurt in bed so badly, if Kurt wasn't 100% up to it, then he wouldn't bring him to a hotel. Whenever he had a one night stand, he always made sure that his partner was not feeling pressured to have sex with him in the slightest. Pressured sex wasn't any better then rape, at least that's how he saw it.

Sure he flirts here and there with the kid and he has a lot of wet dreams about him, but forcing Kurt to sleep with him or making him feel bad for not sleeping with him was a big no-no. It actually turned him off.

He sat up again and scratched his head. Since when did he overthink conquests? Ever since Kurt made a appearance in his life, everything became so upside-down and confusing. Kurt was teaching him new feelings he didn't want to invite inside. Kurt was the one who taught him what guilt felt like, what true frustration felt like, and what apologizing felt like. Maybe it was revenge for every nasty thing he had done in his life.

* * *

Kurt said goodbye to Blaine as he walked back down to his car. They had spent a great deal of the time making out after Blaine apologized.

He smiled warmly and made his way back up to his room. He was tired after worrying so much in one day. But he was really happy now that the whole ordeal was finally over with. Him and Blaine had gotten over yet another obstacle and this just proved once again that they were meant to be. He had promised Blaine that he would never say goodbye to him, and he was content that it still stood.

He flopped back down on his bed and got under the covers, staring blankly at the wall. He couldn't help but wonder how he would know he was ready to have sex. He loved Blaine and Blaine loved him back, so why was he so hesitant to do it with him? He knew that whenever they did take that step, it wouldn't be them having sex, it would be them making love to one another. It was just that in the back of his mind, there was a voice telling him he was definitely not ready for such a huge development in their relationship.

Rachel had said that when you love someone and you're really sure of it, you and that person should take that step. He knew now that making love didn't hurt and that him and Blaine would be using it as a way to connect. He just didn't know why he was refusing to do it now. Blaine was ready and he practically begged Kurt to take that step with him, so this was probably just as confusing for him as it was for Kurt, maybe even more.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax so he could sleep.

The next day Kurt went to school and walked through the halls hand in hand with Blaine. There was a slight tension as Kurt tried not to flinch during several occasions. Each time he did he refused to look at Blaine's face which was surely crying with guilt. He felt guilty himself as he knew Blaine would never hurt him like that again, especially in front of people. 

He hated all this flinching and tension, he wished it would just all end. He never would have thought in a million years that he would be slightly afraid of his boyfriend for a short period of time.

He hated himself so much right now it was unbelievable. He was hurting his own boyfriend by being afraid that he was going to hit him again and not agreeing to have sex with him. He was pretty much the worst boyfriend in the whole world and now he knew that he had deserved to be hit by Blaine. If anything, he deserved to be hit again.

The day eventually ended and both of them went their separate ways, the tension still flowing through the air.

Kurt arrived home and started on his homework, trying to forget all about how much his self-hatred had grown in one day. He was quick to finish it and decided he was going to skip dinner so he could just sleep the rest of the night and day away. He had a lot to think about.

Kurt had plugged his phone into the charger and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. And that was when he got a  few angry texts from Blaine.

**From: Blaine**

**To: Kurt**

_Mind telling me why you were chatting it up with Sebastian at the Lima Bean yesterday?_

**From: Blaine**

**To: Kurt**

_Now you're not going to answer me!?  I bet you cheated and are trying to come up with some stupid excuse._

**From: Blaine**

**To: Kurt**

_That's it. I'm coming over._


	7. The Boiling Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Physical abuse, verbal abuse, attempted rape, and feels.

Kurt jolted awake as his door swung open with clearly a lot of force. He frantically looked around his room in alarm as he tried to make sense of what was going on.

His eyes wandered over to his door, becoming confused when he saw a very angry Blaine in the doorway. He looked over at the clock and back at Blaine. Apparently it hadn't been long since he fell asleep, but he was still unsure of why Blaine was here in the first place.

"Blaine....why are you here and why are you so angry?" Kurt said slowly. Blaine was staring daggers at him and it was really starting to freak him out. His eyes were practically boiling with nothing but anger and he could sense that whatever it was that was making him fume had something to do with him. Right now, he really didn't want to find out what he could have possibly done to make him this angry.

Blaine let out a heavy sigh as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. A little voice in the back of Kurt's head screamed that the door should be left open and that something was seriously wrong.

Blaine walked up to where Kurt was still sitting on the bed and sat down on the edge. He looked directly into his eyes before asking, "Why were you with Sebastian yesterday? Rachel saw you guys acting pretty friendly at the Lima Bean, which doesn't make sense since you guys hate each other....unless......you guys are..."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and huffed. So this was what this was all about? Sure it probably did look weird that he was being friendly with Sebastian since they indeed previously hated each other, well Kurt did at least, but was Blaine really thinking that he was cheating on him? And with Sebastian of all people!

Now Kurt was angry. Angry at the fact that Blaine would ever do as much as think that he would cheat on him. Angry at the fact that this revealed that Blaine didn't trust him, after all they had been through. No, this wasn't Blaine he was talking to. Blaine would never accuse him of such a thing without any actual proof that Kurt might of been cheating on him. Blaine knew that Sebastian had caused him pain and messed with their relationship, so what reason would Kurt have to want to be more than friends with the guy?

Kurt sat up straighter than he was before and peered back with determination in his eyes, "Blaine, don't you dare even think about accusing me of cheating on you. You know I would never ever do that!"

Blaine seemed to become way more angry at his words, his eyes boiling even more. Kurt would be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit scared. And the worse part of it was that he wasn't scared of Blaine breaking up with him, he was scared of Blaine in general. The memory of the slap came right back in his mind. If that slap had been for not having sex with him, then what would happen if Blaine thought he was cheating on him.

He hated this. Hated the fact that he was scared of Blaine and what he would do. He wasn't supposed to be scared of his boyfriend, the man he loved. This wasn't right.

Blaine stood up and screamed out, "You're lying to me!"

Kurt flinched at the volume of his voice. Oh how he wished that his dad or Carol or Finn was home to come to his rescue once hearing the yelling. But his dad was in the garage, Carol was having dinner at a friend's house, and Finn was staying the night at Puck's. It was just him and Blaine alone in the house, which made him even more scared.

He took a deep breath and reached out his hand towards Blaine's arm, yelping when Blaine smacked it away with much force.

Blaine looked at the ground and started laughing somewhat nervously, saying in realization, "This is why you won't have sex with me right?"

Kurt's eyes widened and then narrowed, not entirely sure what sex had to do with any of this.

"What ever do you mean Blaine? This conversation has nothing to do with that fact." Kurt gently said. He was afraid of putting any emotion behind his words in fear of how Blaine might react. 

Blaine himself looked up at him, nothing but anger and disgust still there as he spit out the words, "You've been having sex with Sebastian."

Kurt kept staring at him, shocked at what he was now being accused of. The fact that Blaine thought Kurt cheated on him  _and_ was having sex with Sebastian felt like a thousand knives were stabbing his heart one at a time.

Blaine didn't seem to like Kurt's silence as he continued spitting out vicious words, "I knew something was up. You've been having sex with Sebastian and because of that you don't want to do it with me. How dare you do this to me you little slut!"

Kurt snapped at the vulgar name he was given and yelled, "I'm not cheating on you or having sex with Sebastian!!"

To Kurt, it all happened in slow motion. Blaine's hand struck his cheek hard enough to knock Kurt face-first into his bed and ring out a loud smacking noise throughout the house. Kurt lay there in surprise as he touched his cheek, flinching at the pain his contact brought. His whole body started to tremble as his entire body flooded with the feeling of fear.

He sat back up slowly and turned towards Blaine. His boyfriend was standing there, but the look he had on his face wasn't that of guilt.

It was pride.

He expected his eyes to fill with tears but nothing came. He just felt so numb and so scared at what to do next or what was going to happen next. How was he supposed to handle this situation? He was sure that if he told Blaine to leave that he wouldn't but what else could he do?

"Stop lying to me. I know you did it you asshole." Blaine sneered.

He really didn't know how to respond to his words. He knew if he talked back that Blaine was most likely to hit him again, but at the same time he wanted to talk back. He had a right to be angry since his boyfriend just accused him of cheating and had hit him across the face, again.

He swallowed down his fear and shakefully said, "We're done. Get out of my house."

Blaine's eyes widened and shook his head, "Now you're going to break up with me!? If anything I should be breaking up with you!"

Kurt looked down at the bed as he felt the tears coming, "You hit me Blaine, again. If you don't trust me and feel like you have to hurt me to feel better, then this is obviously not a healthy relationship. Let's just end this now. Please."

Blaine made a noise that sounded like a growl and he dragged Kurt out of his bed. Kurt struggled against his grip but Blaine was way stronger than him and all his attempts to escape failed as he was pinned against the wall. Blaine brought his face so close to his own that he could feel his harsh breath as he whispered, "Before I go you're going to make this up to me. And then we'll be officially over."

Kurt's eyes widened as Blaine forcefully pressed his lips against his. This kiss was anything but loving and/or passionate. It was hurried and full of anger, and the fear he had felt before returned and spread throughout Kurt's entire body. He continued to struggle but Blaine wasn't even loosing his grip around Kurt's wrists and waist. It was beginning to hurt and becoming really uncomfortable, but there was no way to voice his pain as Blaine proceeded to shove his tongue into Kurt's mouth against his will.

The reality of what was happening was hitting him like a huge truck, and he feared for his life. He knew that if he didn't do something, he was going to be raped right there in his own bedroom. But there was nothing he could possibly do to gain freedom from Blaine's forceful touches. He was too weak and it wouldn't matter if he screamed as they were still alone in the house, and he was afraid of what Blaine would do if he did.

That's why when Blaine removed his mouth from Kurt's, he didn't scream in terror at what was being done to him. He simply kept saying 'no' and 'please stop' as Blaine pulled down his pants in a humiliating way and began to rub his erection against Kurt's crotch as he kissed up and down his chest and stomach. He wiggled around uncomfortably and finally he could feel his eyes explode with tears. He was so scared and he didn't want this, therefore for the first time in his life he prayed. He prayed that someone would come home and save him from this situation, prayed for his dad to enter the door and beat the living crap out of Blaine for trying to hurt his son.

It was when Blaine started to pull down his boxers and moved his fingers to Kurt's butt that he became painfully aware that he wasn't going to be saved from this. If he didn't want this to happen, then he would have to save himself. So, he did the only thing he could think of as Blaine's finger skimmed over his hole.

He kicked him right in the nuts.

Blaine howled in pain as Kurt trudged away from the wall, pulling up his pants, grabbing his phone, and racing out of his bedroom and towards the front door. As he reached it, he heard Blaine walking around upstairs and quickly got into his car, starting the engine and driving away from his house just as Blaine was walking out the front door.

He panted heavily as he reached his dad's garage and parked his car. He sat inside and clutched his stomach as he finally broke down into a sobbing mess. He could still feel Blaine's fingers all over his body and he shuddered at the memory of it. His heart ached as he loudly sobbed inside his car, trying to figure out through the mess of his head what he was going to do next.

He didn't want to talk to his dad at the moment, as he was busy with work and he knew he couldn't just barge in there with the state he was in. But he really needed someone to talk to or he was going to go crazy. He wiped his eyes and picked up his phone, looking through his contacts. He found one specific person and before he could think twice about it, he called him.

* * *

Sebastian walked back and forth across his room, nothing but worried at the call he had just gotten from Kurt.

He was just doing his homework when Kurt called him. He hesitantly ended up accepting it and was shocked to find Kurt begging him to give him company. Kurt's voice and been thick with tears and distress, he could just tell. Whatever happened to the boy was serious, but it couldn't be too serious since he was going to depend on Sebastian for some kind of support right?

It had been an hour since Kurt had called him and they had both agreed to meet in Sebastian's dorm room. He told him his dorm number and said he would be waiting for him. Westerville wasn't that far from Lima so he was a little worried about why it was taking a hour for Kurt to get here and he was about to call him again to see what was up and where he was.

Just as he was about to pick up his phone, a knock sounded on his door and he rushed to answer it. He swung open the door and there Kurt stood.

Kurt's eyes were red and puffy, confirming that Kurt had definitely cried a lot very recently. His hair was messed up as if someone had run their hands through it and his clothes were a bit messy looking as well. But Sebastian's eyes stared at a huge red spot on one of Kurt's cheeks, looking like someone had struck him across it.

After taking in Kurt's appearance he stepped aside to give him room to come in. Kurt stared down at the ground and walked inside, immediately sitting on Sebastian's bed as he closed the door. He turned to Kurt and swallowed, a little bit nervous that he was probably going to have to do some comforting which was another thing he was not good at doing.

He sighed quietly and sat down next to Kurt on the bed, waiting for Kurt to speak and tell him what the hell was going on.

"I lied to you." Kurt said in almost a whisper. Sebastian turned to gaze upon the disheveled boy in curiosity, wanting Kurt to explain what exactly he had lied about. Kurt eventually seemed to get the message.

"Me and Blaine never broke up. We just had a really big fight and....I thought we would break up but we didn't. We made up yesterday."

Sebastian nodded. He wasn't angry that Kurt had lied to him and he wasn't all that surprised either. He had guessed that there was no way they had broken up. But it still didn't explain why Kurt was a mess and inside his dorm room.

Kurt sniffed and explained, "We fought because he was angry that I didn't want to....have sex with him. It got pretty heated and he....hit me."

Sebastian's eyes widened at his admission and he sucked in a breath. Blaine hit Kurt?

Sebastian curled his hand into a fist as he became suddenly angry. How dare Blaine hit this beautiful boy and for what, because he wouldn't put out? He knew that something was off about that guy but he never would have guessed that he would hit hiw own boyfriend. Then again, he had tried to rape Kurt in the parking lot of Scandals so maybe it wasn't that strange.

"I forgave him because I thought he was really sorry and that he would never do it again. But..." Kurt paused as tears filled his eyes again at the memory of what had just happened an hour ago. He had been absolutely stupid to think that Blaine would never do what he did again. If only he had broken up with him a couple days ago, then this would have never happened in the first place. He hated himself so much and maybe he did deserve all of this. Maybe he deserved this because he was too selfish to not make love with Blaine or for thinking that he deserved someone like Blaine.

Sebastian watched on as Kurt began to spill tears from his eyes, not sure of what to say. Clearly, though he didn't want to accept it, what with the red cheek and the state Kurt was in now, Blaine had done it again.

"But he found out that we were hanging out that day and he..he accused me of cheating on him with you and-and he hit me again and called me a slut. He thought we were having s-sex and he tried to.." Kurt completely burst into tears before he could finish that sentence.

Sebastian quickly pulled him into his arms and rested his chin on Kurt's head. He pieced all the clues together and he knew what Blaine had tried to do. What with Kurt's disheveled hair and clothes, Blaine had most likely tried to rape him. And it was even more terrible now that this time Blaine was sober and in control of his body. 

His anger simmered down as he tried his best to comfort Kurt in his arms. He rubbed Kurt's back and told him that it was okay, that he was okay now. He closed his eyes, breathed heavily, and looked down at the sobbing boy in his arms. Realization hit him and usually he would freak out and deny it, but not this time.

He couldn't lie to himself anymore.

He cared about Kurt.

A lot.


	8. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kurt.

Sebastian looked down at Kurt, watching as the boy's chest rise and fall as he slept. He had stayed up way past curfew so he could calm him down and get him to text his dad that he was staying at Mercedes' house tonight, and to then text Mercedes to cover for him.

Kurt had finally drifted off to sleep and the sobs that had previously filled the room vanished. At this point, he wasn't sure what he was going to do next. He could always track down Blaine and beat the shit out of him, but Kurt would never allow him to do that. He could tell Kurt that he should press charges for attempted rape and for hitting him, but something was telling him that Kurt wouldn't do that.

Maybe he should call Kurt's dad and explain to him the situation while he's asleep. But then again, he should actually ask Kurt if he wants to tell his dad before going behind his back and doing it himself. He was so confused on what to do that he wanted to bang his head on the wall in frustration.

The matter of the fact was that he's come to the realization that he definitely cares about Kurt way more than just a challenge or one of his usual fuck 'em and chuck 'em. He actually genuinely wants to be his friend and be there for him now, even if Kurt himself didn't want to. But Kurt chose him to come to so that had to mean something right? That Kurt saw him as a friend that he could lean on? He hoped so.

He turned over and wrapped his arms around Kurt's restless body and closed his eyes, ready for sleep to take over his body. As he could feel it sneaking up behind him, he opened his eyes slightly and in his sleepy haze, nuzzled his nose into Kurt's soft hair, sighing longingly before closing his eyes again and falling asleep.

* * *

_Kurt opened his eyes and looked around his room, taking in his posters and computer. He could have sworn he had fallen asleep in Sebastian's dorm room so he had no idea why he was back in his room._

_He looked back towards his door and flinched when Blaine came into full view right on top of his body. He struggled a little before looking down at his arms, which were pinned down by Blaine's strong gripping hands. He looked back into Blaine's eyes and saw nothing but anger and lust inside those hazel orbs that he loved so much._

_"Blaine, let me go!" Kurt squealed. Blaine just chuckled and smashed his lips onto Kurt's. He whimpered and thrashed around, trying to get out of Blaine's grip and escape. He didn't want this, not like this. They were supposed to have a romantic and slow first time, not rushed and forced in the setting of his brightly lit bedroom. He was scared and wanted Blaine to stop and say he was sorry for everything._

_Blaine smiled as he dragged his tongue down Kurt's now naked chest, ignoring the pleas that were coming from his boyfriend's mouth and body. Kurt tried to scream but nothing was coming out of his mouth. Even as Blaine's hands left his wrists, it was like they were tied down by some invisible force and all he could do was lay there and thrash his legs slightly. Blaine was in the middle of pulling down his pants when he brought his knee up to Blaine's crotch in one hard motion, but the only reaction he got from him was Blaine's looking up at Kurt's face and laughing out loud._

_"That's not going to save you this time." Blaine said sweetly before pulling off his pants and underwear completely. He smirked and started to rub his erection against Kurt's crotch, Kurt himself cringing at the uncomfortable contact._

_Blaine continued rubbing as he brought his fingers to Kurt's hole. Kurt squirmed and tried to do anything to stop this from happening._

_"Don't!" Kurt yelled. Blaine clenched his jaw and stopped what he was doing. Kurt stared at him, trembling at his sudden stillness._

_Blaine slowly raised his hand up in the air and-_

* * *

"NO!!" Kurt screamed as he shot up in Sebastian's bed. Sebastian himself woke with a start and tumbled off the bed.

Kurt panted heavily and frantically looked around the room he was in, letting out a relieved sigh as he recognized it as Sebastian's dorm room. He ran his hand through his hair and winced at how sweaty he was. The realization that Sebastian was currently sprawled out on the floor made Kurt turn his head to the edge of the bed and slightly giggle as Sebastian sat up groggily and winced.

"Jeez Kurt. You scared the shit out of me." Sebastian said in between yawns. Kurt shrugged and laid back on the bed.

"Sorry. I had a nightmare about yesterday."

Sebastian sighed and stood up, climbing back on the bed.

He eyed Kurt cautiously before asking, "What do you want to do about all of this Kurt?"

Kurt turned to Sebastian and bit his lip, trying to think of what exactly he should do. First thing first, he was gonna have to tell his dad about everything. He didn't want to really press charges against Blaine, because despite what horrible things he had done, Kurt still loved him. He hated that he still did, but sadly he couldn't exactly control where and when he would fall out of love with Blaine. Besides, he just wanted to not do anything rash and have this done and all over with, fast. And pressing charges would take forever and he wasn't exactly comfortable with getting up in front of a bunch of people and talking about how he was almost raped. Because they were gay, there was no guarantee that he would get the response that he would be looking for.

"I want to tell my dad. But I'll do that when I get home. Right now I just want to forget." He said softly.

Sebastian nodded and felt relieved that he wouldn't have to sneak around and tell Kurt's dad for him. Luckily he didn't have school today so he could spend time trying to comfort Kurt before he had to spill everything. It felt so foreign doing so much as comforting someone else, or even wanting to. It was just another thing to add to the list of things that Kurt had taught him.

"So, how about this. We can drive back to Lima and get coffee at the Lima Bean, then afterwards I'll go with you to talk to your dad. I can either just drop you off, or, if you want me to, I can be there when you tell him. It's your call." Sebastian said as he came up with a plan.

Kurt looked at the wall beside him and fidgeted. After a couple seconds he looked back at Sebastian, his eyes pleading as he said, "Okay. Can you...stay when I tell him? Unless you really don't want to, I need someone to keep me from breaking down."

Sebastian smiled and took Kurt's hand in his hesitantly, nodding. Kurt relaxed at his answer and smiled back.

"You know, you're actually a good friend Sebastian." Kurt whispered while blushing slightly. It was true. Sebastian was being a good friend to him and he was more than a little grateful for Sebastian putting up with him and his wounded emotional state.

Sebastian himself could feel heat rise to his face and he knew that for some reason he was blushing. He just hoped that Kurt couldn't tell.

He then clapped his hands together and got off the bed, saying, "Then let's get dressed and head out before Nick and Jeff decide to come annoy me."

After Sebastian got dressed, Kurt went into the bathroom to comb his hair quickly before they walked out the door. The halls of the dorm building were pretty empty except for a few familiar faces as they made their way down to the lobby. It brought back a few memories from the time that Kurt had stayed in the dorms when the bullying reached a boiling point. It brought the memories of him and Blaine sitting inside one of each other's dorm room and doing homework together, or making out when they started dating. Dalton was like a huge reminder of his relationship with Blaine, since it was the place where they had shared their first kiss and became a couple.

He shook his head and followed Sebastian down the flight of stairs. Now he just wanted to get out of this school, not wanting anything that reminded him of Blaine to be anywhere near him.

Sebastian glanced at Kurt and he could feel his chest ache at the pain in those blue eyes. He couldn't ever dream to imagine what Kurt was feeling like. He really was starting to consider that he should track Blaine down and beat the ever living shit out of him after he left Kurt with his dad. The only thing that was stopping him was that he knew deep down that Kurt would be angry if he laid a finger on Blaine, and he was determined to keep this friendship. He decided right then and there that he was going to be there for Kurt and protect him no matter what. If he was going to be anyone's friend, he was damn well going to be a good one. Kurt was going to need as many friends as possible, and Sebastian was definitely going to be one of them.

They finally reached the lobby and luckily Nick and Jeff were nowhere in sight, so he guided Kurt to the parking lot. He paused when he realized that they were probably going to have to take separate cars.

"We can take my car. I'll drive you back to Dalton after we talk to my dad." Kurt said from behind him. Sebastian spun around and said, "Are you sure Kurt?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and walked to his car, tugging Sebastian along. He unlocked his car and got into the driver's seat, motioning for Sebastian to get into the passenger seat.

"It's the least I can do. You've been a great friend, and you have no idea how grateful I am for you being there for me. So let me do you this one favor." Kurt said as he backed out of the lot and drove onto the road. Sebastian chuckled and leaned against the window, watching as the trees flew by. He was glad that Kurt still had his snark even in a situation like his. He was amazed at how strong Kurt was being about everything, though part of him couldn't help but worry. It would only be a matter of time before Kurt would completely break down. Sebastian was an asshole, but he wasn't stupid. He could feel the pain wafting from Kurt's body and he came to the conclusion that Kurt was just putting on a facade for now.

The drive was mostly quiet and after only 15 minutes they arrived in Lima. Another 12 minutes later, Kurt pulled into the parking lot on the Lima Bean.

Sebastian unbuckled his seat belt and was about to open the car door when he noticed that there was no noise or movement coming from Kurt's side. He turned to see Kurt sitting stiffly in his seat, tightly gripping the steering wheel. His face was paler than usual and his top lip was quivering. He was just staring out the window in front of him and his eyes were wide with fear.

Sebastian followed his line of vision and clenched his fists when he saw Blaine inside drinking a cup of coffee. He was sitting in a seat next to the big glass window and he looked so relaxed that Sebastian's blood boiled as he became instantly pissed off. How could Blaine just sit there and look so relaxed after what he had done the day before? Did he not understand what he had done to someone he was supposed to love and protect?

What angered Sebastian even more was the possibility that Blaine did understand what he had done, but saw no fault in his actions. He didn't care that he had tried to rape his own boyfriend twice, hit him twice, and leave him in a bawling mess. It was taking Sebastian every fiber in his body not to barge in that stupid coffee shop and strangle him to death. Instead he buckled his seat belt and looked back over at Kurt, who was still frozen in fear. He sucked in a deep breath and reached out to grab Kurt's arm gently. But as soon as his hand brushed against Kurt's arm, he flinched violently and looked at Sebastian with wide and scared eyes. His heart broke at the sight of overwhelming fear in the poor boy's eyes.

He sucked in another deep breath before saying, "Kurt, let's just go to your house and tell your dad. You'll feel a lot better when you do. Please."

Kurt stared at him for another couple of long seconds before slowly nodding his head and started the car again. He tried to keep his eyes off of Blaine as he backed out of the parking lot and got back on the road. The air around the two boys was so painfully stiff as Kurt made his way home.

* * *

They pulled up to Kurt's house and Kurt cut the engine after parking in the driveway. Sebastian unbuckled and climbed out of the vehicle, walking around to Kurt's door to open it for him. Kurt smiled and climbed out, slipping his phone into his back pocket. He took out his keys and locked the car, sighing as they walked up to his front door. He put his hand on the knob and took a deep breath.

Sebastian put his hand on Kurt's shoulder reassuringly, which got him another small smile from the boy. He tensed up himself as Kurt pushed the door open and walked inside and he followed. He closed the door behind him and followed Kurt into what looked like a living room, stopping when he saw a big man sitting in one of the two recliners. He assumed that this must of been Kurt's dad, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit intimidating. All he knew about Kurt's father was that he supported his son and had no issues with gay people. If only his dad was like that.

Another boy, which he recognized as Finn from New Directions, was sitting in the other recliner. He was really tall and he looked kind of goofy, but he had a good voice.

The two males looked up at Kurt when they heard them entering the room. Kurt's dad shot up when he seemed to notice the dark bruise that was on the cheek where he got slapped.

"What happened!?" He bellowed. Finn's eyes widened when he saw the bruise and Sebastian could see worry flood into his eyes.

Kurt looked over at Sebastian, who nodded, and sighed saying, "Dad I have to tell you something, now. My friend, Sebastian is here to help me."

His father looked at Sebastian and back at Kurt, sitting back down into his seat. He glanced at Finn and asked, "Does he need to go?"

Kurt shook his head and sat down on the coach, tugging Sebastian along so he was seated next to him. Sebastian put a comforting arm around Kurt's waist and was happy to feel Kurt relax a little at the gesture. Kurt looked down at the ground as he prepared himself for the confession.

"A couple days ago....me and Blaine got into a fight and he...hit me." Kurt said firmly. His dad and Finn both took on the expression of pure rage at his words.

"I forgave him because he said he was really sorry. He promised me that he wouldn't ever do it again and I believed him. But, yesterday, he came to the conclusion that I was cheating on him with Sebastian. So, he came over and we got into another big argument. He...hit me again and...he.." Kurt put his face in his hands as he tried to get the last five words out without breaking. It made him feel like the most pathetic human ever admitting out loud what had happened, and to his father and brother.

Finn sat up straighter and Sebastian could tell that the boy, and the dad, were about to straight up brutally murder someone.

"What else did he do Kurt?" Finn asked hesitantly. Kurt looked up at his brother and dad, tears streaming down his face.

"He tried to rape me." He quickly got out before he broke down. Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt protectively and let him rest his tear filled face on his chest.

"HE WHAT!?" Burt screamed as he bolted out of his chair, Finn bolting out of his too. Kurt continued to sob and Sebastian took it upon himself to talk for him.

"He called me yesterday and asked if I could talk to him. He told me about everything and we decided that he would stay the night and tell you today. We were going to go to the Lima Bean for some coffee first, but once we got there we saw that Blaine was inside and he was just...sitting there all happy like nothing ever happened. I'm sorry he lied and said that he was staying at Mercedes, but he was an absolute mess and he was too embarrassed to go home."

His dad nodded angrily but Sebastian knew the anger wasn't directed towards him. He couldn't even imagine what it was like to hear that your son had been hit and almost raped by his loved one. Finn was standing besides him, clutching his fists.

Kurt's father looked at his son and softened his expression. He looked back at Sebastian and sighed, "Can you take him up to his room and stay with him while I try to figure out what to do?"

Sebastian nodded and stood up, taking Kurt's hand and guiding him upstairs. He looked around and tried to figure out which room was Kurt's. Kurt probably understood what he was doing and pointed towards a door at the very end of the hallway. Sebastian walked with him into the room and helped him onto the bed. Kurt crawled underneath the covers and began to cry again into his pillow. Sebastian climbed in next to him and pulled Kurt into his arms, just like he had done the night before. Kurt turned and pressed his face against Sebastian's chest, sobbing loudly and violently.

Sebastian closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Kurt's shaking body. His heart broke as he felt the broken boy whine and cry. He wanted nothing more than for Kurt to smile again, be snarky again, or just do anything but cry. He hated seeing him like this and he just wanted Kurt's suffering to stop.

He wasn't the least bit surprised when he felt his own tears stream down his face.


	9. A Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short because again, shits about to go down.  
> And some of you wanted me to make a happier chapter, hahahahahahahahaha! Like that's going to happen anytime soon.  
> Also, remember this isn't canon Blaine, so of course he's going to be more of an asshole and more cruel than he canonically is.

The next couple of days were filled with tears, sorrow, and anger. Everybody inside the Hummel-Hudson house was pissed to no end, especially Burt and Finn. While they were trying to come up with what they were going to do with Blaine, Carole and Sebastian took turns comforting Kurt as he cried non-stop into his pillow and had nightmares every time he fell asleep.

It broke everybody's heart to see Kurt, who was usually such a strong person, in the state he was in. Finn informed the New Directions with what was going on and Santana, Puck, Sam, Mike, and Mercedes were concocting a plan on how well they were going to beat Blaine up. Blaine himself hadn't gone to school when he heard that the New Directions knew what he had done to their precious friend. Sebastian took a break from Dalton so he could be there for Kurt, informing his parents why he had to do so.

Mr. Schuester, Ms. Pillsbury, Mr. Figgins, and Coach Sylvester were all informed as well of the situation and given reason on why Kurt wouldn't be attending school for a couple of weeks.

Burt and Carole discussed the topic of pressing charges, aware that there would be some hardships. Like the fact that Lima wasn't exactly friendly to gay people and they could not take Kurt's case seriously and let Blaine go, or the fact that it would be hard on Kurt to get up in front of a bunch of strangers and recount Blaine's assault. But they knew they couldn't possibly let Kurt go to school or anywhere with the possibility that he could run into his attacker and get assaulted again. So they decided that once Kurt had gotten a little bit better, they would discuss it with him.

Sebastian was spending the majority of the time inside of Kurt's room, holding the boy as he slept or cried, his heartbreak growing with every second he spent wrapping his arms around his friend's shaking body. He had no idea how it had come to this. Just a week ago he was walking around the halls of Dalton trying to figure out a way to get Kurt into his bed for one night, and now look at what happened. The boy he was trying to seduce boyfriend had tried to rape him on multiple occasions, hit him on multiple occasions, and made Sebastian have his first real friend. He wouldn't be lying if he said he wished all of this had never happened, if for the sake of Kurt. He would give up this new friendship if it meant Kurt would have been safe and happy.

But here he was, very aware that Kurt wasn't safe and happy. He was broken and depressed. What did Kurt possibly do to deserve this? Nothing. He was a kind, smart, sassy, strong individual. Even though he had done nothing to gain or deserve it, Kurt had almost instantly forgave him for his unforgivable behavior and become his friend. He had forgiven Blaine when he hit him and almost raped him the first time. Someone as nice and strong as him shouldn't have to go through all of this. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair.

He felt so useless and weak for not being able to do anything about all this bullshit. All he could do was lay in bed with Kurt and wrap him in his arms while he cried and had nightmare after nightmare. Sebastian Smythe was never this useless, this being the first time he had ever felt that way. Just another feeling that Kurt had taught him. And this time, it was a feeling he absolutely hated and didn't want.

"I'm sorry..."

Sebastian pushed back slightly so he could see Kurt's face, which was extremely wet, red, and puffy from all the crying. He was looking up at him with nothing but guilt in his eyes, replacing the pure pain that had resided inside of his blue orbs.

"What could you possibly be sorry for Kurt?" He said as he reached over at the nightstand to get a tissue, wiping Kurt's face gently until it was dry. He couldn't think of one thing Kurt should be sorry for.

"Because...I've basically been keeping you captive in my room so I could use you as my personal pillow that I cry all over. You should be going to school and Scandals, not stuck here with my broken state." Kurt said wetly.

Sebastian pulled Kurt back up against his chest and closed his eyes, "Kurt, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I....I can't stand seeing you like this and I want to be here. If being your personal pillow that you cry all over helps you, then so be it. You're my friend now and you're not going to be able to get rid of me easily. You're stuck with me mister, and I'm completely okay with that. Besides, I'm kinda getting bored of Scandals. I need a break before I become sick of it."

Kurt nuzzled his face closer against Sebastian's chest as his eyes began to fill with tears for the hundredth time. He didn't understand why Sebastian was doing this. It was obvious to him now that if Sebastian really tried, he could be a good friend and person. He just couldn't see why he was being a good person and friend to him of all people.

He knew now that he was a pathetic person. He should have known the very first time Blaine hit him, no, the very first time Blaine almost raped him that something was wrong. But he didn't, and that was why he deserved this. He was too caught up in thinking that he had the most perfect boyfriend and the bullying being over for his own good, and this was just a wake up call. 

He didn't deserve happiness, the world had made that pretty clear by now. His mother died before he could get to know her, his dad was constantly getting sick, he was bullied by kids and adults throughout his whole life, all his previous crushes had been straight and creeped out by him, and just when he actually believed that he had earned happiness after all the bad things when he met Blaine, his own boyfriend proceeded to hit him and almost rape him on two separate occasions. He knew better now and accepted it, that he didn't deserve anything but pain.

So why couldn't Sebastian see that?

* * *

Blaine paced back in forth in his room, trying to figure out what he was going to do about this whole situation. Kurt had apparently decided to tattletale to his brother about their stupid little fight and turn everyone against him. Thankfully Santana had called him and threatened to castrate him with razors, letting him know that if he stepped into the school, he would be pummeled by everyone in the New Directions.

He didn't get it. Why was he the one getting punished when Kurt started all of this in the first place. The boy had all of what he did coming to him because of his cheating, and with Sebastian Smythe of all people. What's worse, he had given up his virginity to someone other than his own boyfriend! It was unbelievable how much hate he was getting for something that was entirely Kurt's fault.

And sure, maybe he could have been calmer when he confronted him, but in all honesty, he truly believed that Kurt deserved that slap. In fact, he should have slapped him some more. Not only that, but now Kurt owed him sex. Especially since he had made such a huge deal about him not being ready or wanting it to be special a week ago.

Blaine thought he was plenty hot enough. He didn't quite understand why Kurt wouldn't want to have his first time with him, or why he wanted to have his first time with Sebastian Smythe. Besides, who was to say that he wasn't even a virgin a week ago. For all Blaine could know, Kurt could have been cheating on him far longer than just a week. Kurt might as well be a slut for all he could know. He had to figure out a way to not be the only one who couldn't get into Kurt's pants.

He had to make a plan of some sort, but what could he do? There was no way Kurt was just going to approach him, at least not alone. There was also no way that he could sneak into Kurt's house and not get murdered by his entire family as they heavily guarded his room.

He could always give up and forget about Kurt entirely, but there was no way he was going to do that.

He sat on his bed and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

And that's when it hit him.

The perfect plan.

He smiled to himself and got up off his bed, exiting his room to go make some lunch, humming Teenage Dream as he descended his stairs.

He knew exactly what he needed to do.


	10. Chapter 10

I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to be gone for a week or so.

We just recently put my dog Molly down because her back legs became paralyzed and she was in a lot of pain. Molly was 17, so she was really old and we just knew it was her time to go. I've never lost a dog before, and she was very precious to me and part of the family. I spent 17 great years with her and she was a very loving dog. So, I'm just going to take some time to mourn and then I'll be back.

R.I.P. Molly


	11. Chapter 11

So a lot of stuff in my life has been really going downhill in exactly one week. As you know I had to put my dog down, but it seems as though the world thought it wasn't enough for me to loose a dear friend. Apparently it also decided to give my grandpa, that I'm very close to, cancer.

I'm going to be gone for more than a week now, but I promise you all that I'm not abandoning any of my fics. I'll just be absent for a short while, and maybe I'll just drop a chapter here and there when I want to take a break from all the chaos in my life right now.

I have no doubt that I have all of your support as you guys have become my friends and have been great ones through everything. I apologize for my constantly growing life drama and for all the breaks I seem to take, I might as well be living in Glee. Thank you guys so much for understanding and I love you all. I hope you have a great day, week, month, and year!


	12. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another really short chapter, sorry. Originally shit was supposed to go down in this chapter, but I decided I wanted to take a little break from anything heartbreaking.  
> This chapter is still important and I'm sure everyone will squeal with joy. So, enjoy!

Kurt opened his eyes and was met with a bright light, completely different then the darkness he had made himself accustomed to as he crumbled into pieces day by day.

He was in his room, laying on his bed and he could feel another body next to him, still and unmoving. Sebastian or someone must of turned his room light on in an attempt to make it a more healthier setting than it was before. He closed his eyes again as he tried to fall back asleep, but the light in his room irritated him and he groaned in frustration. He didn't exactly feel like getting up so he just opened his eyes again and huffed. His left wrist itched and he began to scratch at it until he was satisfied.

He looked over at Sebastian's sleeping body beside him and smiled, actually smiled. Sebastian had been such a good friend throughout this entire escapade and he was nothing but grateful. The only people who had ever been there like this for him was Blaine and his dad. Never in his life would he ever had imagined that Sebastian Smythe would become his friend and comfort him through a rough time. Now he just felt guilty for ever thinking that Sebastian was a horrible person.

He felt guilty for putting his family and friends through all this trouble. He felt guilty for making Blaine out to be this insane monster that should be locked behind bars. He felt guilty about Sebastian missing precious school time because of his own problems. And he felt guilty for making Sebastian stay in bed with him day after day while he cried and slept.

His wrist began to itch once again and Kurt went back to scratching at it. It was starting to irritate him after a couple of minutes and he gave up, knowing that the itch would go away in a little while if he left it alone. He sat up in his bed and realized that he had to go to the bathroom. He carefully got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom that was right outside of his room.

After doing his business, he sat on the toilet and stared at the wall in front of him. He knew that if he went back to bed that he wouldn't get up for another day or so unless he had to use the bathroom again. At this point he didn't really care and he was still extremely tired of all that was happening. He wondered when he would be able to stay awake without crying once, or when he would stop having nightmares of Blaine's attack. He wondered when he would be able to go back to school and sing happily, or go back to the Lima Bean to enjoy a cup of coffee.

He felt as though he would never be able to experience anything that made him happy before ever again. He felt as though only sad and hopeless things were in his future.

He sighed heavily and stood up, standing in front of this sink, ready to wash his hands. He opened up his cabinet so he could get the soap, grabbing it and washed his hands. He put it away and then made his way back to his room, surprised to find Sebastian looking at him as if he was some otherworldly creature.

* * *

Sebastian's eyes flickered opened and shut again when they came into contact with a bright light. He groaned and pulled the covers over his face, instantly regretting his earlier decision to turn on the lights when he went to take a bathroom break and leave them on when he crawled back into bed.

He turned towards Kurt's side of the bed and shot up when he noticed that he wasn't there. He looked around the room and got out of bed when there was no sign of Kurt. He put his hands on his hips and looked out into the hallway, sighing in relief when he saw that the bathroom door was closed with the lights on inside. He was glad that Kurt had finally gotten out of bed since the last time he went to use the bathroom. It wasn't healthy to just lay in bed for days, whether he was emotionally broken or not.

He sat back down on the bed and ran a hand through his hair. Mr. Hummel had spoken to him about what they were planning to do with Blaine. Apparently they were going to wait another day or two before they approach Kurt about pressing charges. If he didn't want to press charges, then they weren't sure what they were going to do. There was no way, and Sebastian agreed with him, that they were going to send Kurt out of the house with Blaine just walking around town.

He felt like he was on some kind of TV show or one of those crime dramas. Everything now seemed all too unreal. He had spoken to and flirted with a wannabe rapist and boyfriend-hitter, he was now a friend of and cared about someone he had tried to get in bed with for one night, and he was now comforting that someone.

He wasn't used to this, caring for someone and wanting to be there for them when they were going through a rough time. He was honestly confused about how he felt towards Kurt.

He cared for the boy a lot, that had become rather obvious to everyone lately including himself. He was happy that he was Kurt's friend and that he could be in the group of people that Kurt liked, but he still felt like something was missing and that he wanted something more than being a simple friend. Maybe he just wanted to become Kurt's best friend, but even that seemed like it was not quite enough.

He cried when Kurt cried, his heart ached when Kurt simply frowned or had a nightmare, he felt extremely comfortable when Kurt was in his arms asleep, he wished nothing but to see Kurt smile and be his usual snarky self, and even now he missed having Kurt in the same room as him. He didn't understand these weird feelings and he wanted all of his confusion to go away.

He looked up when he heard footsteps nearing the bedroom and he swore that everything around him just stopped. Here came Kurt, in all of his beauty and all of his sadness. A warm feeling in his heart bubbled beneath the surface and every memory he had of Kurt flowed into his mind all at once. Every quickening of the heart, every breath he had to hold, all the times he was being snarked at, all the times he was being smiled at, that time in the coffee shop when Kurt forgave him, all the feelings Kurt had taught him, the time he spent cradling Kurt in his arms as he cried or slept, and when he saw Kurt's picture for the first time.

It all made sense now. All of his previous confusion flew out the window and would never be seen again. 

Kurt stood in the doorway, looking confused and surprised at whatever facial expression Sebastian was making. Sebastian stood up and walked over to Kurt, pulling him into his arms almost in slow motion, without saying a word.

Kurt fidgeted awkwardly in Sebastian's arms and hesitantly wrapped his own around the oddly warm body. They stood there for a few moments before Kurt finally decided to speak up.

"What's the matter?"

Sebastian didn't answer, in fact he didn't hear a word Kurt said as his feelings swirled around in his heart. He closed his eyes, still swimming in his recent realization.

He was in love with Kurt Hummel.


	13. Update

So school starts tomorrow. Yikes!

I just wanted to let you guys know that because it's my junior year of high school, this year I'm going to be VERY busy. Between trying to get good enough grades to get into NYU, being on a Varsity tennis team, being in Spanish Club, and having two dual credit classes, I'm not going to be updating as much as I usually do.

Don't worry, I'm not disappearing or anything, I just wanted to let you know that I'll only update at least once a week.

For anyone else starting school, good luck and have a great year!


	14. I'm sorry

Yeah, school hasn't been fun at all.  
It's only been the first week and I'm already getting harassed by everyone for me being out. Everybody that passes me by always gives me dirty looks and calls me nasty names under their breath. I've lost a few friends and besides my bestie, no one has really talked to me without saying something mean about my sexuality.

I know you guys are probably fed up with all the drama and just want me to write my fanfiction already, but I just need to get it out and I hope you're willing to lend an ear for at least one more emotional spew. I tried talking to my dad several times, but each time my mom comes around and says I deserve all of it and that this is 'what I get for deciding to be gay'. I've also burdened my best friend enough so I've rarely talked to her about it. Maybe it's because I'm not talking to you guys face to face, but I feel safer talking to you guys than anyone else.

My parents have been fighting a lot recently because my dad supports me and I feel extremely guilty. My best friend has lost her closest friend for supporting me and I feel really guilty about that too. 

I can't even sleep one night without crying and feeling like I should just disappear. It feels like it would definitely be easier to just evaporate into thin air. I know I should just suck it up and be strong, but it's so hard to do that when my own mother hates me and tells me so everyday. I'm gonna be honest and say that I've hurt myself a couple of times since Wednesday and have tried my best not to just end it all. I feel like I'm at my breaking point and I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm sorry if I've wasted your time and I hope I'll last long enough to actually write you guys a chapter at some point. Thank you for reading this if you did, and I hope this won't be the last time you've heard from me but who knows.

Sincerely,

Taylor 


	15. Thank You

Thank you guys so much for all the support. It's only been one day and each comment I get I always cry from how happy I am.

After I post this, I'm going to tell my dad everything and try the Trevor Project that you all have been talking about. I have indeed cut a few times today as I faked sick to stay home from school, and I want to get help before I do something to seriously hurt myself. Reading all of your comments today has inspired me to keep fighting.

Thank you to each and every one of you for showing support and offering me help, I can definitely say that you guys just pretty much saved my life. If I had not gotten all of those amazing comments, I would have probably killed myself as that was why I took the day off. Your all right. I never thought about how my dad and best friend would feel if I did it and I would hate for them to blame themselves. And I shouldn't care what people think. If they don't support me, and that includes my mother though I will still always love her no matter what, then who needs them? All that matters is the people who will stick by my side.

Again, thank you for all the lovely comments and for convincing me not to end my life. Maybe I can even use my painful experience to help others who are going through the same thing. I will also definitely take up the offer to talk to those who said I could. I'll honestly need all the talking to I can get for now.

As for writing on here, I've decided that I should take a month long break for getting better and into a place where I can write happily. I hope you guys are patient enough to deal with that, but I have no doubt you will be. 

 

Sincerely,

Taylor


	16. Cuts on the Skin and Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I decided to finally update this as I'm slowly but surely getting better. I'm at least in a place where I can occasionally write.  
> Now, keep in mind when you read this that this is not canon Blaine. My Blaine is crueler than the canon Blaine could ever be. And sorry for the cliffhanger (Not really sorry though).

Kurt was now officially confused and worried.

Here he was, standing in the doorway of his bedroom, a friend of his wrapped up in his arms as he in turn stood completely still. He had asked Sebastian what was wrong, but the boy had yet to answer.

Kurt sighed and hesitantly pushed Sebastian away a bit, guiding him and his friend back to the bed. Once he sat them both down, he let Sebastian return to his arms and rested his head on the taller boy's shoulder. He was used to being in Sebastian's arms, not the other way around, so he felt a little awkward. But strangely enough, he felt just as safe as he did when he was the one being embraced.

Sebastian nuzzled his cheek against Kurt's ear as he exhaled loudly. The heat of his breathe ghosted by Kurt's ear and made it tickle, causing his head to twitch slightly. The silence in the room made the air thick with a feeling Kurt could not name, different from the sadness that had earlier filled it. It kinda scared him.

"Sebastian, please tell me what's wrong." Kurt whispered, trying not to lose his voice or make it crack.

He felt Sebastian swallow thickly and he kept his hands on him as he leaned out to stare Kurt right in the eye. Sebastian's green orbs had a thousand feelings swimming around them, and they looked absolutely beautiful. Kurt couldn't resist the urge to stroke Sebastian's cheek, so he did. His fingers traced Sebastian's smooth skin lightly as he maintained eye contact.

It was Sebastian who broke it as he turned his head away and stood up, leaving Kurt to sit on the bed alone.

"There's nothing wrong." Sebastian chirped.

Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, "Yeah right. Then what was that all about huh? Please tell me."

Sebastian kept facing the door, and the silence returned. Kurt wasn't stupid, he was heartbroken and terrified, but he wasn't stupid. Something was wrong and Sebastian was obviously trying to find a excuse he could give. What hurt him was that Sebastian didn't trust him enough to say whatever was bothering him, after all they were friends now. Maybe it was because Sebastian wasn't one for sharing his deeper feelings and troubles, or because Sebastian had never had someone to lean on. He hoped and kinda didn't hope it was because of either reason that Sebastian refused to tell him the truth.

But who was he really to hurt because of that? Just because he himself had relied on and confided in Sebastian didn't mean the boy had to do the same back. Sebastian didn't owe him anything, much less his own feelings and worries, but that didn't mean Kurt couldn't want him to.

Sebastian put his face in his hands and mumbled something Kurt couldn't make out before taking a few steps towards the bedroom door.

Kurt almost shot off the bed as he realized Sebastian was going to leave, but before he could, Sebastian said, "I need to go back to school Kurt. I know you need someone to be here with you after what you just went through, but there's some stuff I need to take care of. I'll have a lot of make-up work to do, laundry to do, food I need to eat, and people I need to see. Will you let me leave? I'll keep in touch, I promise...I just.....I need..."

Kurt turned his attention to the floor. He knew he was being too much of a burden, that he had ruined Sebastian's last couple of days. This was just Sebastian's kind way of saying that he didn't want to deal with it anymore. After all the trouble he put Sebastian through, he couldn't ask him to stay. And he couldn't tell him he would be lonely, that he didn't want Sebastian to leave him alone.

"Y-You can go. Just...text me when you get to Dalton so I know you arrived safely." Kurt said warily. He hoped that Sebastian would still actually keep in touch with him.

Sebastian finally turned towards Kurt, but he couldn't bring himself to look up from the floor. He knew it would probably be too painful to see those pretty green eyes he had come to be familiar with.

"Kurt, I'll be back soon. I...." Sebastian's voice seemed to choke with what sounded like stress and without finishing his sentence, he hastily walked out of the room.

Once Kurt was sure that Sebastian was completely gone, he quickly shut his door and crawled back into his now cold and empty bed. He questioned why Sebastian leaving was as painful as it was when he began to weep into his pillow, the first time being alone while doing so.

* * *

Sebastian ran his hands through his hair as he sat in the parking lot of the Lima Bean. He had been there for two hours now trying to figure out what to do with his new found feelings.

He hated leaving Kurt alone and it broke his heart to see Kurt not even being able to look him in the eye, but he needed some time to himself to figure things out. If not he might have done something he would regret. The last thing Kurt needed now was a new friend confessing his affections to him while he was still getting through the aftershocks of almost getting raped by his previous boyfriend.

He texted Kurt and lied, saying he had been able to get to Dalton safely. He really didn't have any intentions of going back when Kurt still needed him, but he also didn't want to break the promise he had made to Kurt about keeping in touch.

He groaned loudly and gripped his hair tighter as his frustration grew.

He was undoubtedly in love with Kurt, he now knew that. There was nothing he could possibly do about it and he hated that. He had no idea how he was going to look at Kurt again without having the urge to ravish the boy silly. He wished that he had realized these feelings when Kurt wasn't in such a broken state, that way he could at least bring himself to flirt with the beautiful boy.

The only thing he could think of doing was waiting until Kurt had completely healed before he could start at the very least giving hints at his budding feelings. He just couldn't do that when the only thing Kurt needed was a very good friend. And he wanted nothing more than to be that very good friend.

But that was probably ruined after he had just left Kurt all by himself without a very good explanation.

He removed his hands from his hair and looked over at the coffee shop he was parked in front of, and his anger immediately skyrocketed when he saw a certain person sitting inside the shop just like he had done once before.

Blaine fucking Anderson.

His left eye twitched and he tightly gripped his steering wheel, trying to not just stride in there and kick the shit out of the ass. Just like last time, he was sitting in his seat and looked so peaceful. Like he didn't just try to rape his own boyfriend.

He really didn't know why he was refraining from beating Blaine for what he had done to Kurt. Blaine deserved it after destroying such a strong, fiery, and wonderful person. Maybe it was because he kept reminding himself that Kurt would be angry, or that he could get into some legal trouble. Either way, it was obvious that Blaine needed to be taught a lesson, and the voice inside his head telling him to be the bigger person was very quiet. Though, when wasn't it really? Probably only when it concerned Kurt.

And while this did in fact concern Kurt, he just couldn't fight this urge anymore. So, he angrily unbuckled his seat belt and stormed into the coffee shop.

Everybody in the shop looked up upon Sebastian storming in, and that included Blaine as well, his eyes growing especially wide. Sebastian plain and simple charged up to him and punched him right across the face, making the shorter monster tumble out of his chair. Gasps of shock and alarm filled the small shop, but all Sebastian did was smile wickedly at the look of Blaine in pain on the dirty floor.

Blaine shot up a glare at Sebastian and put a hand to the cheek he had been punched at, trying his best to ignore the pain as he slowly stood up. He himself smiled and threw a punch Sebastian's way, successfully hitting his mouth. Sebastian stumbled backwards.

"So not only is it enough that you steal my boyfriend and his virginity, but you also have the nerve to come in here and attack me? You're pretty hardcore man." Blaine grumbled.

Sebastian rubbed the blood from his bottom lip and shook his head, "I didn't steal Kurt and his virginity you idiot. I don't know how the hell you came to that conclusion, although maybe it's because you were just finding an excuse to rape and hit your so called boyfriend. Did I mention you did both of those things twice, the first times being when you didn't even know me and Kurt were anything but rude to each other."

Blaine chuckled and shook his head himself, ignoring the woman who was now asking him and Sebastian to stop fighting or else they would be kicked out.

"You know what, it's fine. I honestly always knew Kurt was a lying slut who got off on any guy giving him attention. He should have known what would happen if he cheated on me. He deserved everything I did to him, in fact, I should've finished what I had started. He at least owes me that much."

Sebastian was clutching his fist so hard that his palm was bleeding from his fingernails breaking the skin. With each disgusting thing Blaine had to say about Kurt, the urge to just rip his head off surged through his every being.

Instead he went with snarling a, "Watch what you say about him Anderson."

Blaine just shrugged his shoulders and without warning, flew forward and punched Sebastian right in the eye. Sebastian stumbled even farther backwards as he grunted in pain. It was then that the woman who had been telling them to stop stepped in the middle, demanding that they both leave or else she would contact the police.

Both boys mumbled and separately made their way outside, Sebastian waiting until Blaine had gotten into his car and drove away until he climbed into his own vehicle.

He sat inside his car, trying to calm his breathing. He looked down at his knuckles, which were bleeding from his scuffle with Blaine. He sighed and winced when he remembered his split lip and bruised eye as they ached. He looked down at his watch and winced again at the time. If he was going to be sleeping or eating anywhere, it would have to be at Kurt's house. And while he was nervous as Kurt would find out about Blaine, and the fact that Sebastian had lied to him earlier, he did need to go back so he could make sure Kurt was fine and apologize for earlier.

He started his car and backed out of the parking lot, making his way back to Kurt's. If he was correct, Burt, Carole, and Finn where all going somewhere tonight and that would mean Kurt was alone. His heart ached along with his other injuries as he really realized that he had left Kurt all alone when he needed him most. So, without caring, he went a little past the speed limit as he sped up.

* * *

Kurt stood inside of his bathroom, tiredly looking at the mirror. He hated himself so much that it was unbearable. Realizing that he had been burdening Sebastian took a toll on him, and his whole body shook with a slight fear as he knew he was now alone inside his big house. Alone, just like he was that day Blaine came over and tried to....

Kurt grimaced and looked down at the shiny, sharp object that was laying on the sink. His left wrist began to itch more than ever as he kept staring down at it.

He hummed as he came to a decision and picked up the tiny scissors that was meant for eyebrows, opening them up until one sharp edge was pointing out. His lips twitched and he held out his naked wrist, bringing the sharp edge to rest against his skin and......

 


	17. Feelings Connect

Sebastian made his way up Kurt's steps as he breathed in and out. He hoped he hadn't hurt Kurt too much and that he wouldn't walk in on Kurt being a crying mess. He also really hoped Kurt wasn't going to lecture him about fighting with Blaine, but he probably was.

He sighed and opened Kurt's bedroom door, stepping inside when he did. He looked around and his eyebrows knitted together once he saw that Kurt wasn't in his room. He ran a hand through his hair and walked out of Kurt's room, making his way back to the staircase. His stopped at the bathroom door as he noticed the light was on and the door was barely open. He peeked inside and saw Kurt standing in front of the sink, looking down at his wrist that was held out and had a....

Sebastian's eyes widened and he barged into the bathroom, surprising Kurt as the boy made a audible gasp. Thankfully in his surprise, he had removed the sharp metal object from his wrist and dropped it onto the floor. Sebastian immediately wrapped his arms around Kurt's shaking body and led them both down until they were resting on the ground. Kurt wasn't struggling out of Sebastian's embrace, but he was shaking even harder than before and refused to return the gesture.

"Kurt...." Sebastian said as he touched Kurt's forehead with his own, finally leading the boy to burst into tears and grab desperately at Sebastian's back, burying his head into his shoulder.

Sebastian's eyes watered as he fully realized what Kurt was just about to do, what he would have done if he didn't arrive when he did. His heart sank and shattered, and an overwhelming feeling of fear and pain entered quickly into each piece of his fallen heart.

"Were you trying to kill yourself Kurt?" Sebastian asked without thinking. But how could he possibly think straight in this situation.

Kurt shook his head slowly after a couple of passing minutes, when he had calmed his tears.

"I...I just wanted to feel a little release. I'm too scared to end my own life, but I needed to do something." Kurt said brokenly.

A little wave of relief flowed through Sebastian for a second, knowing that Kurt wouldn't have taken his life. But knowing Kurt was going to still hurt himself was just as heartbreaking as if he was to end his life. And then a huge wave of regret flooded him. If he hadn't left the way he did, probably making Kurt think he was a burden, then this would have hopefully never happened.

"I'm sorry." Kurt whispered.

Sebastian squeezed Kurt even tighter and shook his head violently. How could Kurt possibly apologize when this was all his own fault? Kurt had no reason at all to be sorry.

"No, don't even say that. This is all my fault. I just left you when you needed me most and without a very good reason. Heck I didn't even go to Dalton, I lied to you. I needed to think about some things, but I should've just been honest with you and talked it out with you instead of running away like a scared little boy. So don't you dare apologize or think you're to blame for anything. This is all me, understand?" Sebastian said.

Kurt sighed and said back, "I guess. But why  _did_ you leave like that? I was worried, and I just thought....thought that it was because I was too much of a problem. I know I don't deserve it, but I want your honesty and I want to know what was bothering you so much that you had to do what you never do, run away."

Sebastian scooted back until his back hit the tub and leaned against it, guiding Kurt with him. Kurt soon found himself being extremely comfortable and feeling safe again as he waited for Sebastian to answer him.

"I'm not sure I should tell you right now. You're hurting and I don't want to accidentally take advantage of the state you're in."

Kurt shut his eyes and then looked up at Sebastian, gazing into those beautiful green orbs that he had now come to love.

"I want to know. Tell me Sebastian."

Sebastian chuckled and looked over at the wall. He loved that Kurt was still stubborn.

"This will make things awkward. I don't want things to be awkward between us. Plus I am a little scared." Sebastian breathed out.

Kurt smiled and rested his forehead against Sebastian chest again, so sure of what he was going to say, "Don't be. It's just me Sebastian. And I can promise you, that after all you've done, that nothing will ever be awkward with us. Unless you killed someone or something, you won't lose me."

Sebastian sucked in a breath and peered down at Kurt's hair, smiling at how messed up it looked. Whether or not now was the right time, Sebastian decided to be honest and hope for the best. He looked back towards the wall.

"Alright then. If you insist. Let's see....well, I should probably start with why I left so suddenly. This is the first time I've done something like this, so don't expect too much, as I know you're a complete romantic."

Kurt looked up at Sebastian in confusion.

"I-I left because....I realized I was in love with you. A-And I didn't know what to do. I was sure I was going to do something I was gonna regret and I know you're not ready for romance of any kind. So I ran. I ran and I thought. I'm undoubtedly and completely in love with you. I love the way your nose wrinkles up when you smile, I love the way your laugh sounds, I love that you are so strong and witty, I love the way you can come up with a snarky comment within a single second, I love that bitchy glare you give to anyone who deserves it, I love that you snore when you're asleep and murmur about clothes, I love that you don't let anybody tell you how to act, I love that you walk around like you own every place you enter, and I love you. I love you Kurt." Sebastian managed to get out.

There was no way he was going to be able to walk out of this bathroom alive. His face was hot as he heavily blushed and he was sweating nonstop from his nervousness on what Kurt was going to say. There was no way that Kurt would return his affections, and while he did indeed accept that, it still hurt to know he was saying his feelings only to be rejected.

"Sebastian....I...." Kurt began, but Sebastian held up his hand in a attempt to silence him.

"It's okay Kurt, I know you don't feel the same and that's completely alright. I just, I hope you still want to be at least friends." Sebastian said, a tinge of sadness running through his voice.

He stiffened when he felt a finger glide across his split lip. He shut his eyes and sighed, knowing that he was going to have to tell Kurt about Blaine.

"I stopped at the Lima Bean and I saw  _him_ just sitting there all happy. I tried to stay in the car, I really did I promise. I just couldn't take him hurting you anymore, so I punched him and we got in a little scuffle."

He heard Kurt breathe in loudly at his confession and prepared himself for a long lecture. There was a minutes of silence and he was just about to look at Kurt when he felt two little soft things land on his cheek. His eyes widened as he realized Kurt was kissing him there, for whatever reason. His heart pounded and he was sure Kurt was able to hear.

Kurt stopped kissing him after a few seconds and turned Sebastian's head to face him. Kurt's eyes were watering and he was smiling like there was no tomorrow. It was the first time since they met that he looked so happy.

"You're unbelievable Sebastian. I just..." Kurt said with a whole lot of happiness in each and every word, especially when he said his name.

Sebastian eyes once again widened as Kurt leaned in and kissed him right on his lips.


	18. Update

I swear I'm not trying to be rude and I really hope I don't come off as it, but I just wanted to make something clear.

Someone yesterday took it upon themselves to go to each and every fanfic I have Blaine/Kurt on and told me, though politely to take off the tag since they didn't want to see my work when cruising around the Blaine/Kurt section.

There's a reason I put Blaine/Kurt in the tags, and that's because there is Blaine/Kurt in my story. Now, I also put Not Klaine Friendly or Blaine Friendly tags on here for a reason. That's to warn people who see my works, that there is indeed Blaine/Kurt, but it's not seen in a good way. I at least have the decency to warn people that my Blaine/Kurt isn't set in a friendly manor, and it's quite annoying to have one person spamming my comment sections on like 4 different stories to take the tag off.

Like I said, I just wanted to clear this up and to remind that one person and whoever may do this too, that this is a open website. If I want to put Blaine/Kurt in the tags even when it's Kurtbastian central, I will. Just like someone can put Kurt/Blaine and Not Kurtbastian or Sebastian friendly in a Kurt/Sebastian thread.

Now at first I deleted all those tags, but I've decided to put them back up. For example, this is one of the stories that person asked me to take the Kurt/Blaine off. I will put Kurt/Blaine because they were a couple during this fic and that should be noted in the tags. Again I will put Not Klaine or Blaine Friendly as a warning. So please do not ask me to take the tag off cause I won't.

 

Anyway, I wanted to thank you guys again for the support ya'll have been giving me.

My mother kicked me out of the house and my dad has decided to be on her side, so I'm currently living at my best friend's house. She's made sure to be with me 24/7 as I admit I've definitely wanted to cut and I actually came close to overdosing but she caught me before I could. I don't know when the next chapter will be posted but I promise it won't be forever. I think I just need another big break before I come back. Every now and then I'll come back and thank you for all the support I don't doubt I'll get, but until then I just need to focus on trying not to kill myself.

I love you guys so much and I hope you'll hear from me soon.

 

Sincerely,

Taylor


	19. IMPORTANT UPDATE

Dear readers,

 

I am Taylor's friend and I am here to inform you, sadly, that she is in the hospital after trying to take her life. Because of this, she will not be posting anything on this site anytime soon. I hope you understand her reason for not updating for a while.

I would also like to thank you guys for all the support you have been giving her over the past month. You'll never know how much it meant to her to have a bunch of strangers care about her when her own family did not. One of the only times I ever saw her smile was when she was reading your comments, and for that I am so grateful. Because of her considering you all as friends, I will let you know how she is doing over time.

I really hope you guys realize what good people you all are and how happy you made her when all she has known for these weeks is sadness.

On behalf of Taylor, I thank you all for everything you've done.

Sincerely,

 

Trixie


	20. Chapter 20

Dear readers, 

 

It's been a little over a month and it's been hard these past few weeks after my attempt. But my therapist has been helping me and I'm trying my best to recover from all that has happened. I've learned that it helps to really talk about my feelings, so as people I consider my family now, I want to share those feelings with you.

The night when I decided to try and die, I had just had enough. I was never really honest about how badly I wanted to be dead and I really couldn't see any reason to live. I thought everybody would be better off if I'd die, I mean, if my own mom doesn't want me then why should I be here. Part of me still feels that way. And there are times when I hate the fact that I'm gay. If I wasn't then this would have never happened. I wouldn't have lost my real family and some friends that were dear to me, and I wouldn't have to feel so much pain inside everyday.

And while I have the loving support of you guys and my best friend after what happened, my real family and other people I know have shunned me for trying to kill myself. They call me selfish and say that I'm weak and a bunch of other things. I'm terrified of what things will be like when I go back to school, even if kids get in trouble for calling me names and making fun of my attempt, it doesn't hurt any less. And I've been pretty much told that my scars will effect whether I get jobs or not, so I guess my future has been ruined. I want to become an elementary school teacher, but now I won't get the job because I tried to end my life. And while I know I should have thought about all of this, why should I have to? Why is it that I'm the monster for being torn down and being so depressed that I don't want to try anymore?

There are still times when I wished it worked, and that it would all be over, but I know that I can be happier in time. So I'm working hard.

 

Thank you for listening and I'll give you an update. I'm still sorry for those of you who are here for the fanfic. You're probably fed up with my sob story. Thanks for the support anyway though, it means a lot.

 

Sincerely, 

Taylor


	21. Update

I'm sure after all this time you've been wanting a new chapter that isn't me talking about how sad my life is, but the world just keeps on being cruel.

 

I had finally gotten myself together and I've actually been writing a few chapters for the story. I was happy and it's been a while since I've wanted to hurt myself so I knew I was getting a lot better. However, today I found out that one of my friends that I was close to was in an accident in Lubbock, Texas in case any of you have heard about it. He's in the hospital recovering and I have no idea what condition he's in, but he did end up losing both of his parents, who I also knew very well. This will indeed lengthen the time I'll update so I can have some time to mourn and make sure my friend is okay and give him all the support I can through this rough time. I ask you all to pray for him as I will too and I thank you for doing so.

I hope you guys really appreciate your family because as you can see, they can be taken from you at any moment. Have a good day and weekend.

 

Love, Taylor


	22. Life Is Looking Up

It looks like my life is actually getting back on track with a few bumps along the way. Like I was planning on making a update a couple days ago but I had to rush myself to the emergency room because I started having some internal bleeding, which I found out about in a gross way but I won't go into that. I was discharged yesterday night and I've been pretty much waiting to see if it happens again and if I need to have surgery. So yeah, it's been fun.

But, my friend who was in the accident is doing somewhat okay and is still in a coma, but shows signs of waking up. So that's some good news.

So since my life finally seems to be picking up, I'll start posting new chapters for all of my fanfics starting tomorrow. I've missed writing for you guys and you all have been so patient and caring towards my whole situation. I'm really grateful for you all and I love all of you guys to death. So without further ado, I'll see you all tomorrow with a new chapter!


	23. All the Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's kinda short. But I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Sebastian's eyes were glued open as Kurt kissed him sweetly. He was struck with shock and he couldn't move a finger as soft lips caressed his own. Truth be told he didn't understand why the boy he liked was kissing him when he was 95% sure the he didn't feel the same.

That's when he realized that Kurt must have been caught up in the moment and kissed him without thinking it through. There was no way Kurt was over Blaine and had developed feelings for him in the span of a few weeks. There was just no way.

Kurt must have been moved by his confession and actions and his emotions made him think he wanted one thing when he clearly wanted the other. And while it made his heart ache to be Kurt's rebound or 'one time thing', he knew all he could do was support Kurt and try not to be harsh with him on it. SO before he could get to invested in the kiss, he gently pushed Kurt anyway.

"Kurt, just stop okay?" Sebastian said tiredly.

Kurt looked at him with rejection and confusion in his blue teary eyes as he sat on his rear. Sebastian couldn't bring himself to look Kurt in the eyes as he said, " I know you're in an unstable emotional state right now and I don't want to take advantage of that. I don't know exactly why you kissed me just now, but I sure as hell know it's not because you like me like that."

Kurt sighed quietly and a sob breached his mouth, causing Sebastian to look up in alarm. Kurt was once again covered in his own tears and shame replaced the confusion and rejection that was recently behind his eyes. He was shaking his head back and forth and he started clenching and unclenching his hands harshly.

"I'm s-so sorry Sebastian. I-I just....I'm such a terrible person....I deserve to get hit and raped....I should just die!" Kurt tried to reach for the razor but Sebastian quickly grabbed his hand and shouted a "NO!"

Kurt struggled against Sebastian's hold and his sobs became more violent and loud as he pleaded for Sebastian to just let him die already. Sebastian himself was starting to become a blubbering and crying mess as he held onto Kurt for dear life. As Kurt struggled some more, Sebastian made it his mission to get Kurt back into his arms, practically dragging the boy over to him until Kurt was cradled in his embrace with his face pressed into Sebastian's chest.

Kurt had stopped struggling at this point, but his sobs did not calm and he started to talk about how much of a terrible person he was. 

"Shhhh Kurt, it's going to be alright." Sebastian said weakly. He sniffed and took a deep breath, racking his brain to try and figure out how to convince Kurt that he wasn't a terrible person at all. It seemed that now Kurt had pretty much reached his breaking point, and Sebastian knew that if he were to let Kurt go for even half a second, Kurt would do something to himself. There was never a moment like this, where Sebastian felt so damn helpless, and he wanted nothing more than to magically know what to do.

* * *

Blaine sat on his bed, holding a ice pack up to his bruised face. He was seething with anger at this point. He had thought that by going to the Lima Bean everyday, Kurt would one day show up with Sebastard to smile his pretty little face off and share a coffee together. Now he knew that was probably a stupid plan to begin with, but he was preparing for it to fail anyway. 

He smiled and chuckled under his breath. Looked like he would have to use Plan B.

And it wasn't gonna be pretty.

 


End file.
